cont.

Holy cow. i really was an angry kid.=) hahahaha super joke!
ok... i'll continue the update...
3/5
ahh felt a little satisfaction after realizing my plan(gg explore singapore). even tho its nt really of much fun but still. yes.
o.o after tt i went to meet my family for a nice dinner @ sunshine place. bro's treat for mother day, the zi cha stall is real good. shld try it out if u are loooking for a place to eat. ok went for dessert at xinwang yew tee point.

lol the i ordered grass jelly wif sago snow ice( good memory =) ) and my bro ordered some mango ice thingy. den the staff said tt the serving will be rather big and its best to share it. but i told my bro "no problem, im ard." den she luffed and said "oh u didn haf ur dinner huh, its really big leh.. u sure u can?" lol. i SERIOUSLY cannot take it when ppl taunt me or doubt my words.. burning wif pride, i said, "nvm jus come i can finish 1"
lol & so it came. mine was HUGE. and my bro's was HUGE-R( as in bigger). & he was like "oh, its realli big.. u sure u can anot?" zZZ i seriously hate it when ppl look down on mi or doubt my words. lol. so i began eating & eating & eating. wow it took mi some effort to finish mine, and my bro finished like ard... 1/2 of his thingy after i finished mine. so, i took his and poured into my bowl. & i kept on eating. lol.
after some time, i FINALLY finished everything and was rather, very satisfied with myself. lOL kinda dumb...isnt it? but oh well. anw, i realized tt actually its true tt u feel discomfort in the stomach when u ate too much ice.
=.=i had a stomach ache after tt lol & still have it till ytd. LOL it sucks but.. for the pride... its.. worth it=)

4/5
OH. back to work..bad start of the day when i realized i didn bring my key card when i was abt to reach the bus stop..ran back home to search for it to no avail..=.=oh well, missed the bus and was sweating profusely..=.= tt is seriously the ulti combi to spoil my mood.

aww was late and i cannot go in the office since i dun haf the key.. waited outside till somebody else come out den i sprinted to hold the door.. LOL=.= VERY.. UNSIGHTLY. aww reached my desk & realized i left the key card in my office=.= ohhh well...super boring.. as usual.. am seriously gonna die of boredom sooner or later..=.= read my blog archives from my JC days similarly i felt "WOW" again=). hmm was lost in my own memories until its ard 11+ (notice: i red my blog from 9am till 11++am) until my subconscious reminded me tt i am working! so, was abt to ask if there is anything for me to do den i turned to my left, i saw my colleague's screen.."Facebook"... den i turned to my right, i saw "Stylish outfit for the season" on the other colleague's screen, so.. "oh." i turned back to my screen and continued with my bejeweled.=)
i switched btween bejeweled..facebook..hotmail..etc till its 530pm.=/ the day was very.. lame.
zzzzz=.=


side note-> have u ever heard an Angmoh talking in real life? do u find it funny? i wonder why i realli feel like luffing out whenever there is an angmoh talking near me. the way they talk.. is jus... strangely..funny.

30/4, 3/5, 4/5

well jus some routine updates.

30/4
mm attempted to organize an outing for all the ex and current scorpion company instructors. its been quite a while since we last got tgt and i really wish tt it will be a really enjoyable and memorable get together session.. have been researching on wat to do and where to go for a couple of days but well... kinda got owned on the actual day itself as NTH.. absolutely NTH went according to plan... the place which i wanted to dine at... the after dinner activities.. all.. buang!

guess i jus sucked @ organizing things.=.=

ended up eating at KFC and playing LAN. wow wad a gathering. haha hmmm but good thing is we still managed to see that every1 is getting on well. so.. shldn be complaining tt much.

3/5
lol its a monday and the sat b4 was labour day. and so as usual, i left for work in the morning.. "hmm the bus seems to be having less passengers today.." i tot to myself.. "probably bcoz the schools are havin holidays"

i sensed tt smth is amiss when the bus reached the destination earlier than expected( due to less traffic tt day) and the office building itself seems rather... quiet. loL den i tot to myself "it cant be tt today is holiday bah... y nbdy tell me...." so.. i went up to my office and peeped in through the doors

"OH WOW. ITS TOTALLY EMPTY."

haha i wasnt angry tho, in fact im VERY happy tt i do not have to work! =) so, i smiled and left tt place... TO BREAKFAST! haha tts been my dream since a while ago... to have mac breakfast! =)

lol so i happily bought the hotcake meal & asked ppl to come out.

Qn: Why not just go home? Lame.
Ans: Cuz tt morning itself my mum asked mi, " u today got work not?" den i told her " shld be haf.. cuz nbdy say dun haf". den she answered, "even if dun have u better dun come home la. u at home so noisy and lazy, things anyhow throw duno how to put back"
=.= SO. i didn go home.

kk so got daniel out & went on our exploring trip. the 1st and i hope not the last expedition to locate new & fun places to hang out. Well brief bkgrd on tt, i was hoping to get a grp of 3 and go visit all random places in singapore to locate new & fun & fresh locations to haf fun during weekends. Hope tt i will really be able to locate new places & have fun along the way tho.

well, its hard to get ppl to take part, cuz its almost like walking ard aimlessly. BUT. it is this kind of walking ard aimlessly, tt new places will be located!

____________________________________________________________________________________________
So, if u are
-Young and bubbly,
-with an outgoing personality and
-Possess a pleasant and cheerful disposition

please email your detailed resume with photo attached to caoyi_36@hotmail.com to arrange for an interview & join this expedition!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
haha oh well explore AMK & bishan tt day and hmm cant realli say its good but.. nt too bad tho!

guess its rather long so.. ill stop for now.. still some stuff haven put in but will update again soon.=)

Time Capsule.

Time. haha its a very queer thing. read this if u are free

"siaNx...
haha.. today notHinG special..oni go SP?? hahAx nTh great lahx.. just that they all the project do until qUite nice lahx... the today's tour guide... haha damn funny lehx... after the thing then noThiNg much.. go hoMe liaox.. lolx when on the MRT horx... Super funNy lohx... got 1 couple so funNy...the guy pLay with the girl nose then me and zm say the guy dig the girl's nose shit.. haha then zm or mhao notice 1 ah pEh weaRing gay colour..then lolx that ah peh keep looking at a young boy1's **** there... haha.. real funny... all the biG sisters in SP no cute 1 oso... sianZ hahax "

This is a blog entry written by a 15yr old boy. haha i guess he must have felt rather happy when he typed these down. hmm interesting.. i wonder wad he will become when he grows up =)
time seems to pass so slowly everytime one is doing nth or doing smth that he/she doesnt like. while it passes by very quickly when one is enjoying the moment. what a weird sensation, so did time realli moved faster or its jus plain human's misconception.
no matter what, the fact remains, there is nth one single human could do to oppose that unimaginable flow of time. There will be a time when u look back and exclaim "wow, time flies" even when u remb urself saying "oh my god.. time is really crawling.." back then.

haha wad a load of feelings gushing into me now, cuz i was reading my own blog posts from erm 2005? and wow i was thinking which idiotic kid wrote this. Im glad i felt that way tho, it simply means that ive really grown, mature. all the memories were refreshed as i read through those posts one by one, i got so engrossed in my own emotions back then tt i forgot tt i was working. lOL

i was pulled back to reality after my colleague called my name. "oh, im working now." i realised. ho wow, it feels kinda good tho, i relived my secondary school days via this time capsule. i can picture myself and those familiar & nostalgic scenes which i had experienced b4 but haf put them away into a dark corner of my brain.

hah. felt refreshed and there is some weird sensations in me now. not those "weird" as in sexually but, mentally, i felt... kinda happy. genuinely.
im sure there will come a time in future where i will read my currents posts and exclaim "oh my, was i like this b4? im really such a kid".. tts wad i felt when i read through my 2005 posts. haha take tt chaoyi, u stupid young and idiotic childish kid. GROw up thx!

so, ChaoYi, be sure to smile when u read through this. i hope that u are finally happy now.

chaoyi = The younger me.
ChaoYi = The future me.

sudden.

there is this sudden silence that surrounded me. A moment ago, the office is still bustling with live, suddenly. there is silence. I glanced at the bottom right hand corner of my computer's screen and "oh its 12pm"

haha so i decided to write a blog post since no one else is in the office to supervise me =x heeehee work has been well, manageable.. rather simple stuffs for me to do. still very protective of myself tho, kept quiet and talked as minimal as i can=) to prevent myself frm getting too comfortable here and reluctant to leave after a month. haha its nt tt i hate it here, just tt i really need to find green grass out there.! if u get wad i meant.

oh on a saving spree tho haha spend <$1 on lunch daily now. =) good ass. haha life is still the same as before. nth interesting happend so, yea hope my recurring dreams ( being in love with a pretty girl) will happen in real life soon! jus to touch on the recurring dreams.. had similar dreams for 3consecutive days whereby i haf a girlfren. quite a loser rite? haha oh well its sweet dreams to me.

however wif reference to previous experiences, normally, nth tt appear in my dreams will happen in reality. haiz..

oh kk tts it for now. will update again soon=)

woOgffhh.. work.=.=

woOgffhh.. am working now.. nth to do so i decided to write a blog to improve my English standards and at the same time improve my typing skills. I am gonna finish typing this entry in one minute.

So, previously i have been searching for a job that is rather high paying and enjoyable. at least higer paying and more enjoyable than my previous 1.. so i've been hunting for 1 1/2 month. END up, =)

BUT, this time. im not gonna whine or grumble abt it.. i'll just let things flow peacefully. things will get better. definitely. YES! my life is gonna reach a turning point sometime! will be looking forward to it. Ooaghhff, guess tts it for now.


p.s. im in office typing all these.

Sore dewa, mata ne.

Effort.

update.

well well, on the hunt for a month now.. thinking back.. had quite a few regrets.."should have .... i should have..." lol cuz i turned down a few job opportunities.. now, jobless.. kinda regret it but OH WELL. i cant do much since i gave them up in hope of better opportunities.. well well. jus a wrong "investment" nth much to whine abt.

yea yea still jobless.. my frens must be luffing hard rite now... "cy is lousy.. cant even find a job." aww.. wad can i say. nbdy replies to my emails haha. mayb my resume is just poor.

kk tts it for now. nth much to update anw jus sleep & stone everyday.
oh. im learning jap=) haha

ohyasuminasai.

finally thought things thru.. phew. let it go. SUI!

life goes on.

yes. i stopped at the part when i overcame another milestone in my life. but that just brought me back to reality. The real world. the me who shouts @ ppl, who scolds ppl for leisure and command ppl does not exists. yes. the dream is over, i awakened & found myself lying on the same bed as 2 yrs ago. the problem which i tried to ignore in my dreams resurfaced & started to haunt me again. yes =) Uni.

im lost. previously, i would just ignore this topic & jus keep in mind that its not happening yet... when the time comes, the problem will be solved automatically. escape, definitely.. escaping from the harsh truth.. LOL =x

well well, short term goals first! found a job at Cold Storage as an ADMIN ASSISTANT / ORDER COORDINATOR.. take note, thx. not packer, not cashier, not storeman & not a deliveryman! =.= cuz previously whenever ppl ask me "hey where are u working at?", i will reply "cold storage"and immediately, they will give me a look of disdain and i noe wads in their minds.

"Must be some cashier or wadever lowly paid part time job". lol OHHHhhHH Wwelll.

mm drowned myself with work almost everyday frm the nov till christmas. Was reaally busy, but somehoW i survived. mm yea met frens to go out once in a while but somehow, i feel that the magic is no longer there =/ whenever i hang out with frens... i didn really feel tt much happiness, i laughed alot less than b4. wonder why. izzit bcoz i changed? or izzit my frens grew up too much, too fast for me to catch up with.? i dont noe. i do miss the times, when i can laugh with them till my stomach cramps. those were the days..

well well.. new yr flew past, den comes chinese new yr, an annual event when i will stay home and slack while my frens were visiting their relatives. Occassionally, i do get jealous when ppl were discussing abt how they hang out with their cousins & how much fun they got. while for me, that topic seems so foreign to me. ( since my cousins are in a foreign land ) =/ OH WELL. tts life.

hoo hoo was suPer looking forward to leaving my workplace as its really boring towards the end when we do not get as much work as compared to before. learnt alot of things there, i THOUGHT i grasped many of the relavant social skills & business skills + work experience. felt great as i get to meet loads of ppl frm the real world =) some in a more dire situation as compared to me, financially. heehee.. but nonetheless these little pride i finally gained were soon CRUSHED TOTALLY when i met my jc frens..

yes. i tot i grew quite abit after sometime back to the real corporate world. i was happy when i met my jc frens after sometime, since ive always been bz working working working.. living in my own world. lol. funny thing is, i realized, what i learnt recently, my new gained knowledge which i THOUGHT was so powerful, so new, so fresh, is nth more than superficial information. wow. lol my heart sank.. totally.

hohoho.. so my contract ends @ feb 27. was super happy that im leaving that place cuz i felt real bored there. yea. i THOUGHT with my work experience, i can find a job easily in a very shoRT time frame.
aww not to mention, the ghost UNI came back to haunt mi everyday, its not that i do not want to solve the problem.. the fact is that, i cant solve the problem! i kept on escaping from it nt bcuz im lazy, its bcuz, i cant face the fact! well well, im totally, really lost now. i have my directions, but i cant move forward.

well well. lost as usual, im unemployed for 2 full weeks now. my tiny bit of confidence which i build up. is nth more than a tiny flicker now.

arghh.. gonna get back on my feet. i must push on. THE HUNT CONTINUES. tomorrow.
I MUST NOT FALL!

mm met u today. lol. it was a un"expected" encounter. haha, why? thats bcoz i didn wanted to go there at all initially, some incidents happened & thus i decided to go. but, my weak & dumb mind secretly held on a small ray of hope that i will meet u. & wow. whenever i see u, i become weak & lousy @ expressing myself, my confidence level is at 0. i noe i did poorly everytime im wif u but. oh well im happy deep inside, plainly due to the fact that, i saw u.
i thot time heals all wounds, time will make mi forget.. obviously, i havent. i duno y im so weak.=.= so lame=.= so.. loser. but. well well.i noe my place.
probably jus due to the fact that i havent find any1 else who will make mi feel this way.
im a loser. i suck big time =.=

Shhh...

hmm.. do ppl still write blogs nowadays?
Oh well, i guess i will continue to update my life on this place=) for my personal reference haha.
___________________________________________________________________
In case someone else other than myself is reading my blog, this portion is for u=)
well im back to writing blog due to several reasons, namely
- im really bored
- happened to stop by my own blog recently, i read through my previous posts and i was like "Oh, so i was like that?!" haha.. brings back alot of my memories and my emotions then.
- felt that my english standard is starting to go dOWN doWN doWN! & my frens told me that writing blogs will probably improve my english. so..
Thats abt it!
____________________________________________________________________

ok ok ok lONG post again since i didn update for like err...1 year? oh slightly less than that. haha
where shall i start.. oh well i will jus continue from my previous entry..

May 2009
what was i doing then.? lOL i forgot=) basically from May09 till Oct09.. im still an instructor in the "Land where soldiers are born". so nth much to update abt.. haha was rather demanding and strict to those bunch people and wasnt very well-liked by every1.. but, im jus doing my job, and i really wanted to do it well.
plz do not misunderstand, im VERY well-liked by my fellow instructors, haha, really had loads of fun together with them. aww.
so u shld be able to guess who dislikes me? The top & bottom =) if u get wad i mean.

Blah forget it.. shall not go into details abt tt cuz its classified + its very long if u wan mi to elaborate further.

okok so from oct 09 onwards, i was gg on off & leave + MC(for wisdom tooth extraction).. heehee so for the whole of Oct, im basically slacking at home or out wif frens having fun WHILE still drawing my salary =) life was realli heavenly then.
wOoo 11 11 09 haha a day that i was SUPER looking forward to! haha its *** day. before that day we(my fellow instructors from my batch) were kinda like a semi celebrity among my junior instructors.. cuz the juniors will always "wah lau eh.. *** liao lah hor.. sian sia i 1 more year" den my reply will always be "aiya i still long la.. still long. dun say *** first"
UNtil that day itself.. i was sleeping in my office until i awakened by a few bunch of ppl marching and singing loudly=.= was rather pissed when i opened my eyes and look at my watch.. =.=5:50. in the morning. oh 5:50 was considered very early for me as i just came back from my off & leaves. so for the past month ive been waking up in the afternoon.. so.. for tt day itself when i woke up at 5:50am, i was rather not used to it.
but, 1 thing went to my mind tt time, "eh? isnt today my...my *** day?!" and i literally smiled to myself =) oh im smilling to my monitor as i was typing as well. haha so i got up, brushed my teeth, walked around, stoned, and packed my bag & braced myself to leave this place for good. alone in the office, i began to feel some emotions stirring inside me, this place that i hate so much, i actually developed a sense of belonging for it after 1 year in there. its actually a mix feeling joy & sadness for me. as in yea, for me. to me, it kinda feels the same as compared to my previous graduation ceremonies in schools. but b4 tt, i told myself tt i hate this god-forsaken place.. this place where my freedom is bound, this place where.. i had cursed so many times.. but at the point of time when i really have to leave, a weak voice in my heart is whispering to me, "im gona miss this place, this is the last time"...
no matter wad, i gotta go means, i gotta go. i picked up my bag and made my way out. i saw my fren & he said "wah *** liao hor u" , surprisingly, my reply was the same as before! "aiya i still long la.. still long la.." rite after i said tt phrase, i realized its.. now. now im gonna ***.. its no long still long anymore.. haha aw so tts abt it. i got back a card that SO many guys are talking abt. the pink thingy =)
on my way out, i didn realli feel much.. i wasnt as happy as i thought i would be. and i wasnt that emotional as tt morning. i didn feel anything. just "oh im going home".

aww aww aww what a long pOSt alrdy..=.= im just done wif my army life journey. but wow. its alrdy like.. errr 825words?! aww.. gotta sum up and just end this post first.

aww ive gotta say, ive changed. the way i view things changed drastically. aiyo, its hard to explain it here. nbdy will realli believe it anw. but seriously, ive changed. i noe it myself=) so yup the 1 yr 10mths not wasted.nt gonna elaborate here. zzZ will update again soon.. tt concludes my **my life story.. see ya.. for now.

break

ho. tts the end of the 2nd long holiday. =/ didn realli do anything meaningful but oh well. slack slack. will be looking forward to the nxt long break. lets go=)

homecoming

whoo its been a rush. 3 weeks of confinement straight. day 1, went for enlistment duty after tt went back office for briefing on the nxt enlistment duty=.=
the 2nd duty ended early & i went to bc hse to play PS3 lol. played all the way from 1+ to 9+ den went back camp. mmm very unhealthy. kk den its time for my men to get enlisted. 1st day, i already showed them that its not fun to be on this island. haha my face was permanently the angry face. even tho they asked alot of stupid things which made mi felt like luffing but i still pressed on. "FOCUS! LOOK FIERCE!" haha

den they told mi, my platoon will be transferred to another company=.= oh well wadeverrrrrrrr so ok, they are gone. im attached to another platoon. basically im jus a slacker now. nth much to do except for playing pSP & sleeping during office hours & when i feel like working, i jus go out & scold here there den go back slp. =D

nth much to say cuz its all classified. well booked out & went out to watch red cliff 2. the movie changed quite a bit of stuff here & there but oh well. nt tt great but nt too bad bah.. nth much to comment on the movie jus tt its very long & my whole body cant take it
LOL. bleh will update soon !

all gd things come to an end.

lollollol today is the last last day of my leave & off period.. hmm had loads of bored times but had my fair share of good times too. yea yea a new start, a new rush, grr mus drag my unmotivated body to do wad i haf to do!
hm hope EVERYONE can start working hard for this yr too!

uh uh life is fun!
new yr resolution : , be stronger than ever~!

gah gah will update abt my new dudes when i finish the confinement=.= cyaa


ALL THE WHINING IS OVER! NOW IM BACK STRONG AGAIN! MUAHAA GOGOGO~!!

LONG LONG LONG POST.

=.=if every change in this world is reversible. isnt it wonderful? there wun be pain of losing things, but in exchange, ppl will no longer cherish wad they haf.
lol some simple incident made me thought abt this kinda shit.. my mum did some stupid adjustments to my shirt which i kinda cherished when i didn ask her to. pissed mi off to the max=.= irreversible change=.= i noe its initiative, wnana help mi, or wadever.. but i cant help it. REALLY DAMN PISSED, now.=.=

bleh wadever. hmm think its time to do some recap for this stupid 2008.=.=

JANUARY 2008
lets see.. haha was happy to spend my new yr wif my frens drinking at clark quay. HAD REAL FUN! haha mhao mhan angsiang seaN. =) tts b4 my life changed zzzZ
120108 tt fateful day, i dragged myself to this stupid pasir ris bus interchange & was brought to this hellish place.=.= full of uneasiness & i jus followed the flow.. haiz not forgetting the sadness when i see my mum leave me. tt pain.. is real. yea yea so i went on to a new phase of my life & got all my hair shaven. the feeling of being hairless is, realli realli unforgettable.. i nv wanted to shave my hair ever again. tts the day when i stopped looking at mirrors. not forgetting how hard i tried to adapt to my new life w/o any frens for the first 5 days or so.. feels realli damn damnn out of place.. haiz.. hate adapting to new environment.=.=(thx to my stupid PS) assbitch

FEBUARY 2008
haha! this is the part of my life when i had high hopes abt my future & i finally saw wat i wanted. my dream was to at least be at the top few in my platoon, tts when i tried working hard & set my goals high.! tO OCS! haha yea i finally got used to army life. also, not forgetting.. the chinese new yr i spend wif zang, soon, jiahao,linkang, chengjie, daniao, junhui drinking at the stupid "Candy bar" or wadever u call it. haha tts the 1st time i puke until i cant recognize home. LOl
not forgetting how i returned back to sch to collect my results in my sweaty uniform & field pack & duffel bag.. haha yea i saw u then.. but i do not haf the courage to approach u. hm.. cuz i stink then? lol no la. jus cant forget smth. =/

MARCH 2008
kinda gif up hope in everything in life. zZz posted to SISPEC wif a bunch of ppl who jus slacked thru & seeing all those bootlickers fly high to OCS. not forgetting my shitty results & every shit tt brought my fighting spirit to the lowest point. ZZ haha 120308, POP LO! haha. cant forget how it feels like.. reali realli, i felt damn good. it rained heavily tt day. was dripping wet but i was realli very very ecstatic. duno y.. haha will remb all my sergeants regardless u hate mi or like mi or wadever. sgt khairul, sgt alvin, sgt shaoming , sergeant fazley!

APRIL 2008
days in Basic Section Leader Course wasnt ez.. esp wif my low morale when i stepped into sispec. well im in the same platoon as wenzong & ziqi. buT as usual, cant realli clique wif my room mates for the 1st few weeks. tts when i omos went crazy lol.. it realli sux to haf no frens=/ oh well cant forget the 2days1night field camp which felt so much so much worse than my previous 6days5nites field camp
tts when i realli thoght im gg die. lOL leopard crawling across a football field size field took a hell load of shit outta me. doing "fire & movement" for 5 or 6 times aint funny either. Zzz feels kinda lethagic & definitely low when im dripping of mud water frm my uniform.

MAY 2008
after much much torture from 2sg JJS, i somehow felt tt im realli much stronger than b4. at the very least i survived. =) tt guy lol.. attks both mental & physically, but luckily somehow. realli.. somehow i survived phew. uh the 28KM route march is realli omG. walking during midnite realli took the toll of me.. i actually almost walked into a tree & i cant stay with the platoon cuz my focus went away.. =/

JUNE 2008
i wear the CORPORAL rank wif pride as i think i realli worked to the bones for tt rank unlike some other ppl who jus cut corners here & there. mm i was posted back to the same company, staying in the place wher im used to, thus, adapting to the environment wasnt realli the problem. well , the first day of Advanced Section Leader Course was quite bad for mi as i was super tired running up & down helping to settle the admin stuff for my sergeants.
lol i tripped over 1 of the bags & i fell flat on my face. zZ too tired liao lah. when i booked out, was in a hurry, den tooked wrong guy's bag & kena scolded by him.=.= lol wad a day, i dun haf time to argue wif him cuz zhaoperng's dad waited for mi for 1hr ALRDY! wth=.=

JULY 2008
haha its the month of ur bday! lol i PURPOSELY didn wish u but oh well. i dun wan leh. i dun wan to be an idiot like b4. always doing this kind of shit tt makes u feel greater than mi. loL-.- uh uh i forgot u ok.
hmm ASLC is quite tough as we gotta learn more stuff than b4. TSR=.= omg keep failing. wun forget how i get confined here & there for stupid stuff SOC=.= IPPT =.=
haha i tried to stay low profile cuz i dun realli wan to haf any responsibilities. it sucks commanding ur frens. u wun noe wad tone to use. but somehow, my PC noticed mi. & kept calling mi. duno for wad=.= favourite phrase then, "! sir, but.. but.. i nv say anything.."
zzz mayb being exceptionally quiet caught his attention, zZZzz oh well
GRANDSLAM 2:
omg for starters, its a field camp=) haha wet wet, den dig dig dig frm morning till nxt morning.. nonstop=.= ive nv felt worse b4.. wads worse lol. b4 we move to our last place, we were wearing the wet uniform & staring into the dark grey clouds above us. our sgt told us to change into a new set of uniform. =.= i told him tt if we change now, we will get drenched & we wun haf anymore dry uniform to wear! z but he insisted tt we shld change..=.= WAD TO DO?! we changed.. when i was wearing my trousers, the rain came. i totally sian 1/2. ZZZ there goes our only dry uniform
kk den the nxt phase was to march past NTU to a campsite.. weehee in the middle of the nite when my morale was damn low, a group of girls sitting at a busstop outside NTU shouted "hey~ isnt tt the army guys?! defend our nation! press on!!~" OMG jus tt realli brightened up morale. LOl. i gathered my last energy & reached our campsite despite the pain on my feet.
uh tts when i reali learnt 1 thing.."pain can be endured. as long as ur leg is not broken, u can still move it despite how much pain u are experiencing"
=)

do not forget 32KM omg.. its ALSO ANOTHER GRUESOME EXPERIENCE.

JULY 25.. the day i went for starlight.. feels kinda sad to leave my family & suffer in a foreign land. wads worse, tts nth waiting for me back @ home.. no rewards even if i endured through it..

AUGUST 2008
STARLIGHT - omg realli cant get use to the weather there.=.= bunks are realli diff frm us.. haiz tts when i start to appreciate wad we haf. was appointed as the Leader for the platoon for the 1st few days=.= was shocked & i dont realli noe wad to do. zZzz. haf my own way of doing things. haha which not every1 can appreciate. wel wadever, somehow, i managed to get thru..its hard tho. =/
haha reali i swear.. the WARRIOR. is realli omg. rain.. den BIG BIG SUN.. omg but its fun tho. LOL.. the 1st nite out in the forest.. REALLI omg. wet wet wet. somemore at nite, on top of a mountain..1 thing to say.. COLD. FREEZING.omg tts 1 of the 1st times im shivering until i cant slp at nite.. my frens ard me are shivering too. ZZZ realli leh i realli thought im gg die frm hyperthermia... loL quite an experience bah.. cant realli let every1 understand but. realli the word "WARRIOr" suits the experience.

HAHA Rest & R***** SHIOK~ went to take roller coaster for the 1st time & iwas realli sCARED. lol.~! the feeling of losing control of ur own body & falling down is real scary~! haha.
bought quite a few shirt there & went clubbing twice at nite. lOL got caught but =D fun experience la! damn fun!

yea.. when i reach back singapore, i feel.. a lack of belongingness.. everyday in starlight, i wish tt i can go home soon, but.. when im finally back, i did realli feel anything, izzit bcoz no one missed me? izzit becoz no 1 picked mi up at the airport? no1 noes i went overseaS? haiz, i think its all of the above.
Got my Sergeant rank & my sergeant told mi b4 i passout, " i think u are one of the better trainees i haf. Ppl will like u wherever u are. continue this way & i think u will do well in future" haha im realli happy.. i think its the 1st time ppl said tt to mi.. for the first time, i felt useful.. slightly..thank u. sgt thomas.
thank u.. all my room mates! lin shen, kritboon, luosheng, kevin, mengxiang, yijia, khairil, brandon & even tianyu LOL. u guys realli rockX.. relac corner. HAHA cant forget la! zz

SEPTEMBER 2008
uh was posted to Bmt to be an instructor there. um was like a dream come true for mi! hahA september 4th.. LOL any1 noe wad tt date means to me? zzz was in camp on tt day.=.= hugging my fone.. counting how many actually remb. hmm quite very disappointing! uh 050908, mhao organize 1 bbq. haha i went & met most of my frens there.uh but more like. they oni remb his bday.. kinda jealous but oh wadever, i didn realli organize any bbq. gotta thank him realli. mayb he remb. he is a nice fren bah i think he is the onli 1 who remembered.
so sry mhao.. if u see this.. i didn get u a present..im reali sry.. in camp! =.=
yea yea sian sian sad sad. NO PRESENTS THIS YR OK? zz wadever man. no frens wad.

kk went back & took my 1st batch of recruits. kinda like interact wif them cuz i think they are kind of cute & funny ppl =)

OCTOBER 2008
ah this month.. im bz bz educating this bunch of ppl. haiz.. kinda tough job for mi cuz im new & they dun realli care abt wad i say=.= bleh assholes.

NOVEMBER 2008
their field camp. haha they are kind of weak in the mind.. contrary to my expectations.. lOl i wun 4get.. loads of them complain & even cried due to some hard ship=.= zZz we didn realli punish them alot leh... but zzz guess their mind are not correctly tuned=/ haha i got used to the clean clean uniform & felt INCREDIBLY uncomfortable by the slightest bit of sweat & mud. lOL compared to previously i simply lie down on the ground & sleep wif many days of no bathe. LOL.

DECEMBER 2008
tt bunch of assholes finally POP lo! haha quite a pity tho.. wanted to take a few fotos wif them to keep since they are my 1st batch.=/ but didn get a chance to. hmm wad a waste.. well december is a festive month.. went out alot of times & spend aLOT OF $$.

on some random day, saw my previous instructors in SISPEC. when i was doing some "sai gang"
he jus gave a comment, "chaoyi! why u doing this? i tot u quite up 1?" zz i duno if he is sarcastic or wad but tt comment realli made mi think. "yes..y? y am i doing this? my performance was rated good when i was in training sch. y.. y am i now in such a situation where i wasnt put to good use?" mayb the later part i may be rather arrogant. but oh well. im me, its my oppinion.
really leh. i dun feel tt im any inferior to those who are appointed wif higher & more impt duties. so.. why? why is the same thing happening again? no matter how much hard work i put it, nobdy notices? no results are seen.. y do i work hard for? =.= demoralized..
i started to develope this mentality "since ndby will notice my hard work anw, y not jus slack off. makes no diff anyway?"
z but on the other side of mi, i wanted to show tt im useful, im realli good, they shld regret not promoting mi. zZz wadever man. i guess i will jus act according to instincts lo. realli leh. main thing is i didn get promotion is simply due to the fact that, i came into the wrong place @ the wrong time.. they jus do not need another guy to take tt place at the moment. =.= wth why.. why am i the onli unlucky one. why am i owaes so unlucky. why mi? =.= why did i owaes did not achieve wad i wan?z ah forget it.

24th Dec. did smth crazy. cuz on 23rd DEc, i was on Duty... & i kept slping.. i duno y, i dreamt of u. lol like wth? after so long? haha same here. i had the same thinking. i tot i forgot all abt u ZZZ at the moment of impulse, right after i reach home, i went to look for ur address. zz the method, nobdy wanna noe. lol its REAL crazy.. i cant even comprehend wad im doing too
yea yea went out to buy some present for u. cant think of wad to write on the card cuz. there is reaLLY REALLY too many things to write for u. too many things i wanted to say but u didn gif mi the chance to say. well i think i sorta can guess how u feel. i feel inferior of myself too.
i cant think of a better way to gif u the present.. cuz i think, no i noe u dun wanna see mi.. haha so i did wad i did!
yea yea u msged mi & i realli cant understand wad u truly meant. im angry, ur first reaction wasnt a thank u. & u didn even thank me at all.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz wadever la. at least i made an appearance. take it as i threw $ into the drain ? i dun care. at all..
NOW.im angry again! of my mum.. ZZZ my SHIRT!!!!!!!!! $$$$ no more $$$$ to buy new shirt la!! wah lau!!!!

YEA YEA now im back at home recovering frm all the $ i wasted this month.

lol

=/ nth much to do at home. haha quite tired frm ytd=/ oh well slept the whole day & realized.."oh jus another day." zz oh well cya haf fun~

did some silly things which i duno why i wanna do oso. lol but oh well=.= the thought is not realli reciprocated but.. kind of expected it. LOL wth. izzit tt scary?

OH well~ like i gif a damn.=D

REWINDD... REWINDDD...

ohoh. ytd went out wif the old old kranji clique. haha. quite long since i last see them but oh well they are doing fine & i am doing fine too=/ had quite some fun eating & toking cock & drinking some coffee @ TCC. haha they are too engrossed in toking cock until the staff start to look here look there zzz. oh well. take note, i used the word "THEY". haha cuz i didn haf much to say since my life is realli like revolving ard SAF SAF =.= & now im SAD.=.= felt so outcasted from this society. sian. oh well somehow managed to stay alive.
after tt went to drinkkkkkkkkkkk abit abit & my frens drank quite abit. haha. well 1 thing, im getting lousier & lousier at drinking..-.- oh well less tolerance to alcohol=.= weak ass me.

uh so talked quite abit of cock here there & find out some HOLY OMG secrets abt my frens. lol ok they are good ! kk den kinded ended the day quite lamely. went back to eat some supper & went back home.

take care bro, some things u dun haf to say it out for mi to understand ur situation, i may seem tt i duno anything but actually i do. haha, stay strong~

kkk tts all for u ppl. thx for reading.. byE~

TITLE.

rather free recently after 3 months of hectic rushing here & there. im still the same me. didn change. thinking back.. 1 yr ago, this time.. hmm shld be working lol & bz thinking of ppl at the same time trying very hard to get ppl to go out wif me. lOL!

this yr this time. i got tired of beggin ppl to go out & im sleeping all day long lol. so didn improve, deproved. well met a hell lot more ppl as compared to previously, but oh well, generally im still in a fairly screwed up situation.

haha year is ending soon, am afraid of wads coming up nxt.. the feeling of anxiety & unsettledness is in me now. duno y, bcoz nxt yr, this date, i gotta start deciding for wad i wan to do abt myself again. No one is going to choose wad i gotta do for me anymore. zzzZz i think i can be addressed as an "adult" soon enuf.. zz now i realli wish to stop growing man. lol. quite a childish thought but. YES. TTS ENUF. I DUN HAF TO GROW ANYMORE!

well well random tots cuz im jus too bored at home blah blah. gotta update a SUMMARY haha for this yr in a few weeks time ! =x cya

LOL

woo. back frm the "land wher soldiers are made" umm umm. had quite a slack week cuz im a slacker as always. confined 2 assholes who are sleeping when every1 fall in. feeling quite guilty thus i cut it to 10am release. zz guess im nt tt strong after all.
quite screwed up week cuz i KENA alot of stupid arrows. DEMONSTRATION for BASIC ASSAULT COURSE=.= had to act like some crazed beast placed on the battle field & could control his "aRGHh argh arhh!" warcries=.= well i certainly look like a fool=.= THEN,SOMEBODY ASKED MI IF IM A CHRISTIAN. neh neh. i said no. & poOP 1 times Christmas COS duty land on my shoulders =)

also, sent out 1 cockster who fell down the stairs while walking slowly. uh sad for him.. fracture =/ duno y, i volunteered to send another guy from the other company to the hospital & had to act like his maid or wadever shit-.- its this guy wif some 6days constipation due to field camp & his stomach is hurting like hell. funny shit.. he is drenched in mud & camo cream, looked totally devastated. zzZ uh den i had to undo his pants for the nurse to put some water into his asshole.=.= ewWW! ok tts it

quite a boring life im leading cuz its revolving around army army & army=.= ughh i wanna get outta this shit sooN!

brain

mm now im wearing my PJC PE attire. thinking back, exactly 1 year ago, i was a proud student of this wonderful college called Pioneer Junior College. mm i think i shld be preparing for my A levels' i still remb, this time of the yr, im hugging on to my lousy K750i & waiting for it to vibrate.=)

once it starts vibrating, i wld smile widely to myself, & a whole lot of happiness would gush into my body.. but if it didn vibrate for 1 to2 hours, i would lose my fighting spirit & feel verrrrrry verry loW.
i wonder if i have grown up since then. =/

this morning i woke up in the same boring look & saw a broken msg frm an unknown no. in my fone "[..]ery long time but what your do i appricate it. wish u well on everything your do. take care misses."
i duno y, suddenly, my wild imagination set in, cuz the front part wasnt readable, i started to imagine the wonderful & most happy msg tt i wanna see. prolly like "[hey.. how are u doing? we havent met up for a v]ery long time.... & i wished tt the msg is frm you. haha silly me. wishful thinking=.= replied to that GUY & realized tt he was my recruit who was posted out =.= zzZzz boring.

but duno y. this small incident brought back loads of memories to mi. i started to reflect alot.. how i miss my school.. how much time has flown by. how dumb i was or rather how dumb i am. since im still dumb=.=

mm some update, jus finished field camp. quite tiring for mi too. learnt quite alot of stuff even tho im still COCKING UP alot of stuff=.=made hell lotsa mistakes & hope i learnt from it. uh. still surviving.. 4 more weeks to go for this bunch of ppl.

even tho time always seems to be crawling day by day. but suddenly, i got this feeling.. "omg? im a 10 month soldier already?!" now its NOV already! the 1st day i went into army was like um. the day b4 ytd to me. =/ kk mmmain thing. you got outta my life for 11month already. i can still remb clearly how coldly u did it. yes. its a good thing. i thank u for tt realli. at least that murdered my wild guesses. haha i planned for everything anyway. i know ur answer b4 i asked =) too bad, 70% of my brain still wanna bluff myself tho. anw. wads past is past. duno how i suddenly felt so much for u today but ok randomly i shall make NOV 7, a day to remb u. tml, i wun remb u anymoRe.! byeee

7 MORE WEEKS!

yay. am counting down the POP for my recruits.! am writing less & less here cuz every serviceman is issued wif **************. well tts all i can say abt it, its CLASSIED information. thus i am less motivated to write here! haha.

been quite a tiring week & i realised tt i am training my own body tgt wif these new soldiers to be. mm quite a troublesome bunch of ppl but i think i am getting a hang of it. i will control them MY WAY. those who go against me SHALL BE DESTROYED & those who are wif me shall trife!
MUHAHAHAA

am quite tired & bored of this lifestyle cuz there is realli nth much to look forward to. mm hope i can find smth fun to do every week end if not, by NOv nxt yr, i cant imagine wad i will become. =/
gah plz find mi to haf fun~

phew

hmm a short break for mi & im gg book in for guard soon. zz well its tough to control ur emotions while at the same time making ppl feel the need to move fast. haha im still learning but oh well. guess i gotta get a hang of it soon.

ahh got into some trouble here & there & i keep making mistakes.. STUPID MISTAKES which prolly make mi look stupid in front of ppl. well, i havent got any punishments yet, but i tink they will seriously come soon enuf, i swear.

gah putting tt aside, haven been gg out to see the world for quite some time.. seriously feel bored but still dun haf the mood to step outta my home. ZZz so i haf been doing some random stuffs. & went back to look at my previous fotos.. =x had fun last time seriously.. now im missing them.. al the ppl i've met. all the ppl i haven see for soOOO bloody long ! grrr
lol seriouusly.. look at the date