LONG LONG LONG POST.

=.=if every change in this world is reversible. isnt it wonderful? there wun be pain of losing things, but in exchange, ppl will no longer cherish wad they haf.
lol some simple incident made me thought abt this kinda shit.. my mum did some stupid adjustments to my shirt which i kinda cherished when i didn ask her to. pissed mi off to the max=.= irreversible change=.= i noe its initiative, wnana help mi, or wadever.. but i cant help it. REALLY DAMN PISSED, now.=.=

bleh wadever. hmm think its time to do some recap for this stupid 2008.=.=

JANUARY 2008
lets see.. haha was happy to spend my new yr wif my frens drinking at clark quay. HAD REAL FUN! haha mhao mhan angsiang seaN. =) tts b4 my life changed zzzZ
120108 tt fateful day, i dragged myself to this stupid pasir ris bus interchange & was brought to this hellish place.=.= full of uneasiness & i jus followed the flow.. haiz not forgetting the sadness when i see my mum leave me. tt pain.. is real. yea yea so i went on to a new phase of my life & got all my hair shaven. the feeling of being hairless is, realli realli unforgettable.. i nv wanted to shave my hair ever again. tts the day when i stopped looking at mirrors. not forgetting how hard i tried to adapt to my new life w/o any frens for the first 5 days or so.. feels realli damn damnn out of place.. haiz.. hate adapting to new environment.=.=(thx to my stupid PS) assbitch

FEBUARY 2008
haha! this is the part of my life when i had high hopes abt my future & i finally saw wat i wanted. my dream was to at least be at the top few in my platoon, tts when i tried working hard & set my goals high.! tO OCS! haha yea i finally got used to army life. also, not forgetting.. the chinese new yr i spend wif zang, soon, jiahao,linkang, chengjie, daniao, junhui drinking at the stupid "Candy bar" or wadever u call it. haha tts the 1st time i puke until i cant recognize home. LOl
not forgetting how i returned back to sch to collect my results in my sweaty uniform & field pack & duffel bag.. haha yea i saw u then.. but i do not haf the courage to approach u. hm.. cuz i stink then? lol no la. jus cant forget smth. =/

MARCH 2008
kinda gif up hope in everything in life. zZz posted to SISPEC wif a bunch of ppl who jus slacked thru & seeing all those bootlickers fly high to OCS. not forgetting my shitty results & every shit tt brought my fighting spirit to the lowest point. ZZ haha 120308, POP LO! haha. cant forget how it feels like.. reali realli, i felt damn good. it rained heavily tt day. was dripping wet but i was realli very very ecstatic. duno y.. haha will remb all my sergeants regardless u hate mi or like mi or wadever. sgt khairul, sgt alvin, sgt shaoming , sergeant fazley!

APRIL 2008
days in Basic Section Leader Course wasnt ez.. esp wif my low morale when i stepped into sispec. well im in the same platoon as wenzong & ziqi. buT as usual, cant realli clique wif my room mates for the 1st few weeks. tts when i omos went crazy lol.. it realli sux to haf no frens=/ oh well cant forget the 2days1night field camp which felt so much so much worse than my previous 6days5nites field camp
tts when i realli thoght im gg die. lOL leopard crawling across a football field size field took a hell load of shit outta me. doing "fire & movement" for 5 or 6 times aint funny either. Zzz feels kinda lethagic & definitely low when im dripping of mud water frm my uniform.

MAY 2008
after much much torture from 2sg JJS, i somehow felt tt im realli much stronger than b4. at the very least i survived. =) tt guy lol.. attks both mental & physically, but luckily somehow. realli.. somehow i survived phew. uh the 28KM route march is realli omG. walking during midnite realli took the toll of me.. i actually almost walked into a tree & i cant stay with the platoon cuz my focus went away.. =/

JUNE 2008
i wear the CORPORAL rank wif pride as i think i realli worked to the bones for tt rank unlike some other ppl who jus cut corners here & there. mm i was posted back to the same company, staying in the place wher im used to, thus, adapting to the environment wasnt realli the problem. well , the first day of Advanced Section Leader Course was quite bad for mi as i was super tired running up & down helping to settle the admin stuff for my sergeants.
lol i tripped over 1 of the bags & i fell flat on my face. zZ too tired liao lah. when i booked out, was in a hurry, den tooked wrong guy's bag & kena scolded by him.=.= lol wad a day, i dun haf time to argue wif him cuz zhaoperng's dad waited for mi for 1hr ALRDY! wth=.=

JULY 2008
haha its the month of ur bday! lol i PURPOSELY didn wish u but oh well. i dun wan leh. i dun wan to be an idiot like b4. always doing this kind of shit tt makes u feel greater than mi. loL-.- uh uh i forgot u ok.
hmm ASLC is quite tough as we gotta learn more stuff than b4. TSR=.= omg keep failing. wun forget how i get confined here & there for stupid stuff SOC=.= IPPT =.=
haha i tried to stay low profile cuz i dun realli wan to haf any responsibilities. it sucks commanding ur frens. u wun noe wad tone to use. but somehow, my PC noticed mi. & kept calling mi. duno for wad=.= favourite phrase then, "! sir, but.. but.. i nv say anything.."
zzz mayb being exceptionally quiet caught his attention, zZZzz oh well
GRANDSLAM 2:
omg for starters, its a field camp=) haha wet wet, den dig dig dig frm morning till nxt morning.. nonstop=.= ive nv felt worse b4.. wads worse lol. b4 we move to our last place, we were wearing the wet uniform & staring into the dark grey clouds above us. our sgt told us to change into a new set of uniform. =.= i told him tt if we change now, we will get drenched & we wun haf anymore dry uniform to wear! z but he insisted tt we shld change..=.= WAD TO DO?! we changed.. when i was wearing my trousers, the rain came. i totally sian 1/2. ZZZ there goes our only dry uniform
kk den the nxt phase was to march past NTU to a campsite.. weehee in the middle of the nite when my morale was damn low, a group of girls sitting at a busstop outside NTU shouted "hey~ isnt tt the army guys?! defend our nation! press on!!~" OMG jus tt realli brightened up morale. LOl. i gathered my last energy & reached our campsite despite the pain on my feet.
uh tts when i reali learnt 1 thing.."pain can be endured. as long as ur leg is not broken, u can still move it despite how much pain u are experiencing"
=)

do not forget 32KM omg.. its ALSO ANOTHER GRUESOME EXPERIENCE.

JULY 25.. the day i went for starlight.. feels kinda sad to leave my family & suffer in a foreign land. wads worse, tts nth waiting for me back @ home.. no rewards even if i endured through it..

AUGUST 2008
STARLIGHT - omg realli cant get use to the weather there.=.= bunks are realli diff frm us.. haiz tts when i start to appreciate wad we haf. was appointed as the Leader for the platoon for the 1st few days=.= was shocked & i dont realli noe wad to do. zZzz. haf my own way of doing things. haha which not every1 can appreciate. wel wadever, somehow, i managed to get thru..its hard tho. =/
haha reali i swear.. the WARRIOR. is realli omg. rain.. den BIG BIG SUN.. omg but its fun tho. LOL.. the 1st nite out in the forest.. REALLI omg. wet wet wet. somemore at nite, on top of a mountain..1 thing to say.. COLD. FREEZING.omg tts 1 of the 1st times im shivering until i cant slp at nite.. my frens ard me are shivering too. ZZZ realli leh i realli thought im gg die frm hyperthermia... loL quite an experience bah.. cant realli let every1 understand but. realli the word "WARRIOr" suits the experience.

HAHA Rest & R***** SHIOK~ went to take roller coaster for the 1st time & iwas realli sCARED. lol.~! the feeling of losing control of ur own body & falling down is real scary~! haha.
bought quite a few shirt there & went clubbing twice at nite. lOL got caught but =D fun experience la! damn fun!

yea.. when i reach back singapore, i feel.. a lack of belongingness.. everyday in starlight, i wish tt i can go home soon, but.. when im finally back, i did realli feel anything, izzit bcoz no one missed me? izzit becoz no 1 picked mi up at the airport? no1 noes i went overseaS? haiz, i think its all of the above.
Got my Sergeant rank & my sergeant told mi b4 i passout, " i think u are one of the better trainees i haf. Ppl will like u wherever u are. continue this way & i think u will do well in future" haha im realli happy.. i think its the 1st time ppl said tt to mi.. for the first time, i felt useful.. slightly..thank u. sgt thomas.
thank u.. all my room mates! lin shen, kritboon, luosheng, kevin, mengxiang, yijia, khairil, brandon & even tianyu LOL. u guys realli rockX.. relac corner. HAHA cant forget la! zz

SEPTEMBER 2008
uh was posted to Bmt to be an instructor there. um was like a dream come true for mi! hahA september 4th.. LOL any1 noe wad tt date means to me? zzz was in camp on tt day.=.= hugging my fone.. counting how many actually remb. hmm quite very disappointing! uh 050908, mhao organize 1 bbq. haha i went & met most of my frens there.uh but more like. they oni remb his bday.. kinda jealous but oh wadever, i didn realli organize any bbq. gotta thank him realli. mayb he remb. he is a nice fren bah i think he is the onli 1 who remembered.
so sry mhao.. if u see this.. i didn get u a present..im reali sry.. in camp! =.=
yea yea sian sian sad sad. NO PRESENTS THIS YR OK? zz wadever man. no frens wad.

kk went back & took my 1st batch of recruits. kinda like interact wif them cuz i think they are kind of cute & funny ppl =)

OCTOBER 2008
ah this month.. im bz bz educating this bunch of ppl. haiz.. kinda tough job for mi cuz im new & they dun realli care abt wad i say=.= bleh assholes.

NOVEMBER 2008
their field camp. haha they are kind of weak in the mind.. contrary to my expectations.. lOl i wun 4get.. loads of them complain & even cried due to some hard ship=.= zZz we didn realli punish them alot leh... but zzz guess their mind are not correctly tuned=/ haha i got used to the clean clean uniform & felt INCREDIBLY uncomfortable by the slightest bit of sweat & mud. lOL compared to previously i simply lie down on the ground & sleep wif many days of no bathe. LOL.

DECEMBER 2008
tt bunch of assholes finally POP lo! haha quite a pity tho.. wanted to take a few fotos wif them to keep since they are my 1st batch.=/ but didn get a chance to. hmm wad a waste.. well december is a festive month.. went out alot of times & spend aLOT OF $$.

on some random day, saw my previous instructors in SISPEC. when i was doing some "sai gang"
he jus gave a comment, "chaoyi! why u doing this? i tot u quite up 1?" zz i duno if he is sarcastic or wad but tt comment realli made mi think. "yes..y? y am i doing this? my performance was rated good when i was in training sch. y.. y am i now in such a situation where i wasnt put to good use?" mayb the later part i may be rather arrogant. but oh well. im me, its my oppinion.
really leh. i dun feel tt im any inferior to those who are appointed wif higher & more impt duties. so.. why? why is the same thing happening again? no matter how much hard work i put it, nobdy notices? no results are seen.. y do i work hard for? =.= demoralized..
i started to develope this mentality "since ndby will notice my hard work anw, y not jus slack off. makes no diff anyway?"
z but on the other side of mi, i wanted to show tt im useful, im realli good, they shld regret not promoting mi. zZz wadever man. i guess i will jus act according to instincts lo. realli leh. main thing is i didn get promotion is simply due to the fact that, i came into the wrong place @ the wrong time.. they jus do not need another guy to take tt place at the moment. =.= wth why.. why am i the onli unlucky one. why am i owaes so unlucky. why mi? =.= why did i owaes did not achieve wad i wan?z ah forget it.

24th Dec. did smth crazy. cuz on 23rd DEc, i was on Duty... & i kept slping.. i duno y, i dreamt of u. lol like wth? after so long? haha same here. i had the same thinking. i tot i forgot all abt u ZZZ at the moment of impulse, right after i reach home, i went to look for ur address. zz the method, nobdy wanna noe. lol its REAL crazy.. i cant even comprehend wad im doing too
yea yea went out to buy some present for u. cant think of wad to write on the card cuz. there is reaLLY REALLY too many things to write for u. too many things i wanted to say but u didn gif mi the chance to say. well i think i sorta can guess how u feel. i feel inferior of myself too.
i cant think of a better way to gif u the present.. cuz i think, no i noe u dun wanna see mi.. haha so i did wad i did!
yea yea u msged mi & i realli cant understand wad u truly meant. im angry, ur first reaction wasnt a thank u. & u didn even thank me at all.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz wadever la. at least i made an appearance. take it as i threw $ into the drain ? i dun care. at all..
NOW.im angry again! of my mum.. ZZZ my SHIRT!!!!!!!!! $$$$ no more $$$$ to buy new shirt la!! wah lau!!!!

YEA YEA now im back at home recovering frm all the $ i wasted this month.

lol

=/ nth much to do at home. haha quite tired frm ytd=/ oh well slept the whole day & realized.."oh jus another day." zz oh well cya haf fun~

did some silly things which i duno why i wanna do oso. lol but oh well=.= the thought is not realli reciprocated but.. kind of expected it. LOL wth. izzit tt scary?

OH well~ like i gif a damn.=D

REWINDD... REWINDDD...

ohoh. ytd went out wif the old old kranji clique. haha. quite long since i last see them but oh well they are doing fine & i am doing fine too=/ had quite some fun eating & toking cock & drinking some coffee @ TCC. haha they are too engrossed in toking cock until the staff start to look here look there zzz. oh well. take note, i used the word "THEY". haha cuz i didn haf much to say since my life is realli like revolving ard SAF SAF =.= & now im SAD.=.= felt so outcasted from this society. sian. oh well somehow managed to stay alive.
after tt went to drinkkkkkkkkkkk abit abit & my frens drank quite abit. haha. well 1 thing, im getting lousier & lousier at drinking..-.- oh well less tolerance to alcohol=.= weak ass me.

uh so talked quite abit of cock here there & find out some HOLY OMG secrets abt my frens. lol ok they are good ! kk den kinded ended the day quite lamely. went back to eat some supper & went back home.

take care bro, some things u dun haf to say it out for mi to understand ur situation, i may seem tt i duno anything but actually i do. haha, stay strong~

kkk tts all for u ppl. thx for reading.. byE~

TITLE.

rather free recently after 3 months of hectic rushing here & there. im still the same me. didn change. thinking back.. 1 yr ago, this time.. hmm shld be working lol & bz thinking of ppl at the same time trying very hard to get ppl to go out wif me. lOL!

this yr this time. i got tired of beggin ppl to go out & im sleeping all day long lol. so didn improve, deproved. well met a hell lot more ppl as compared to previously, but oh well, generally im still in a fairly screwed up situation.

haha year is ending soon, am afraid of wads coming up nxt.. the feeling of anxiety & unsettledness is in me now. duno y, bcoz nxt yr, this date, i gotta start deciding for wad i wan to do abt myself again. No one is going to choose wad i gotta do for me anymore. zzzZz i think i can be addressed as an "adult" soon enuf.. zz now i realli wish to stop growing man. lol. quite a childish thought but. YES. TTS ENUF. I DUN HAF TO GROW ANYMORE!

well well random tots cuz im jus too bored at home blah blah. gotta update a SUMMARY haha for this yr in a few weeks time ! =x cya

LOL

woo. back frm the "land wher soldiers are made" umm umm. had quite a slack week cuz im a slacker as always. confined 2 assholes who are sleeping when every1 fall in. feeling quite guilty thus i cut it to 10am release. zz guess im nt tt strong after all.
quite screwed up week cuz i KENA alot of stupid arrows. DEMONSTRATION for BASIC ASSAULT COURSE=.= had to act like some crazed beast placed on the battle field & could control his "aRGHh argh arhh!" warcries=.= well i certainly look like a fool=.= THEN,SOMEBODY ASKED MI IF IM A CHRISTIAN. neh neh. i said no. & poOP 1 times Christmas COS duty land on my shoulders =)

also, sent out 1 cockster who fell down the stairs while walking slowly. uh sad for him.. fracture =/ duno y, i volunteered to send another guy from the other company to the hospital & had to act like his maid or wadever shit-.- its this guy wif some 6days constipation due to field camp & his stomach is hurting like hell. funny shit.. he is drenched in mud & camo cream, looked totally devastated. zzZ uh den i had to undo his pants for the nurse to put some water into his asshole.=.= ewWW! ok tts it

quite a boring life im leading cuz its revolving around army army & army=.= ughh i wanna get outta this shit sooN!

brain

mm now im wearing my PJC PE attire. thinking back, exactly 1 year ago, i was a proud student of this wonderful college called Pioneer Junior College. mm i think i shld be preparing for my A levels' i still remb, this time of the yr, im hugging on to my lousy K750i & waiting for it to vibrate.=)

once it starts vibrating, i wld smile widely to myself, & a whole lot of happiness would gush into my body.. but if it didn vibrate for 1 to2 hours, i would lose my fighting spirit & feel verrrrrry verry loW.
i wonder if i have grown up since then. =/

this morning i woke up in the same boring look & saw a broken msg frm an unknown no. in my fone "[..]ery long time but what your do i appricate it. wish u well on everything your do. take care misses."
i duno y, suddenly, my wild imagination set in, cuz the front part wasnt readable, i started to imagine the wonderful & most happy msg tt i wanna see. prolly like "[hey.. how are u doing? we havent met up for a v]ery long time.... & i wished tt the msg is frm you. haha silly me. wishful thinking=.= replied to that GUY & realized tt he was my recruit who was posted out =.= zzZzz boring.

but duno y. this small incident brought back loads of memories to mi. i started to reflect alot.. how i miss my school.. how much time has flown by. how dumb i was or rather how dumb i am. since im still dumb=.=

mm some update, jus finished field camp. quite tiring for mi too. learnt quite alot of stuff even tho im still COCKING UP alot of stuff=.=made hell lotsa mistakes & hope i learnt from it. uh. still surviving.. 4 more weeks to go for this bunch of ppl.

even tho time always seems to be crawling day by day. but suddenly, i got this feeling.. "omg? im a 10 month soldier already?!" now its NOV already! the 1st day i went into army was like um. the day b4 ytd to me. =/ kk mmmain thing. you got outta my life for 11month already. i can still remb clearly how coldly u did it. yes. its a good thing. i thank u for tt realli. at least that murdered my wild guesses. haha i planned for everything anyway. i know ur answer b4 i asked =) too bad, 70% of my brain still wanna bluff myself tho. anw. wads past is past. duno how i suddenly felt so much for u today but ok randomly i shall make NOV 7, a day to remb u. tml, i wun remb u anymoRe.! byeee

7 MORE WEEKS!

yay. am counting down the POP for my recruits.! am writing less & less here cuz every serviceman is issued wif **************. well tts all i can say abt it, its CLASSIED information. thus i am less motivated to write here! haha.

been quite a tiring week & i realised tt i am training my own body tgt wif these new soldiers to be. mm quite a troublesome bunch of ppl but i think i am getting a hang of it. i will control them MY WAY. those who go against me SHALL BE DESTROYED & those who are wif me shall trife!
MUHAHAHAA

am quite tired & bored of this lifestyle cuz there is realli nth much to look forward to. mm hope i can find smth fun to do every week end if not, by NOv nxt yr, i cant imagine wad i will become. =/
gah plz find mi to haf fun~

phew

hmm a short break for mi & im gg book in for guard soon. zz well its tough to control ur emotions while at the same time making ppl feel the need to move fast. haha im still learning but oh well. guess i gotta get a hang of it soon.

ahh got into some trouble here & there & i keep making mistakes.. STUPID MISTAKES which prolly make mi look stupid in front of ppl. well, i havent got any punishments yet, but i tink they will seriously come soon enuf, i swear.

gah putting tt aside, haven been gg out to see the world for quite some time.. seriously feel bored but still dun haf the mood to step outta my home. ZZz so i haf been doing some random stuffs. & went back to look at my previous fotos.. =x had fun last time seriously.. now im missing them.. al the ppl i've met. all the ppl i haven see for soOOO bloody long ! grrr
lol seriouusly.. look at the date

sentosaaaaaaaa

haha. nice picture. a simple picture tt makes the mood better. hmm finding things to make u smile is very easy,so, smile while u can! =)
=.= i guess smbdy hacked into my acc & wrote tt lame ass emo entry lol, COMON LIFE IS GOOD! LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL! happy happy happy!!!
went to sentosa with my section mates today lol. its quite funny to see 7 semi botak guys gg to the beach tgt & play frisbee & struggling with the volleyball. lol quite a gd meet-up after a few weeks & i see tt every1 is still doing well & im HAPPY for them. well 1 of my sectionmate jus broke up wif his gf & he is still able to smile. perhaps tt smile is forced, tts wad guys like to do, to act strong & "dun care". lol when he told us abt it, he was still semi luffing, which make it sound like a joke. i commented on tt & he replied "haha, den wad? u wan me to emo meh"

lol omg either he is very emotionally strong or he is a very good actor. well he left alone quite early & tt suggests smth.. bleh oh well. back to the topic, i had quite abit of fun here & there bah, sentosa is quite a weird place & makes u jus wanna take ur clothes off =/ den, when u take ur clothes off, u will tend to look at ur own body & compare wif the OUTSTANDING BODIES
ard u, den u will start to feel... INFERIOR! LOL. sian sia!
went to 7-eleven to buy drinks & saw my long lost fren, Mr Zm. haha he looked @ my body & his 1st sentence was "eh? how come ur body liddat, i tot u go sispec got train?" zzz wad a way to say tt my body is not beautiful.=.= lol oh well tts the sian part.

KKKKK shall nt describe the whole experience today, i noe im not realli making sense & im like jumping frm topic to topics but OH welll. try ur best to comprehend wad im typing =) cuz my fingers move faster than my BRIAN =D :random note,damn long nv see brian le sia!

joke! y sia! zzZ

woo

yay! im at home at a thursday night!

muahaha! my life now is quite ok.. somehow managed to get along wif the ppl of the same badge in my company. my..company..my.. zzz=.= haiz got quite a shitty company & the intakes are like zzZ. i was a man wif great dreams... but somehow, fate didn allow mi to.
my great dream is to create new leaders, leaders who really deserve to be leaders. not those cock suckers who somehow got gd results & ppl think tt they are smart wif good "leadership qualities". but in fact, i think they are jus bullshit=.=
looking at ppl ard mi, call mi arrogant or wadever nonsense, some of them seriously jus make mi feel inferior. they are categorized in the same category as me, which means tt the whole grp of us are the same level, same qualities, etc etc. omg sia, i think its jus too ez for ppl like them (& me) to get this rank=.= duh wadever
certainly in any community, there will be ppl who think tt they are good( eg, me) & ppl whom u jus cannot get along wif. zzZzz oh weLL.

putting tt aside, im posted to some loser company, i shall not name it, who only take in losers or rather, ppl who gave up on themselves. =.= blehh i thought they finally answered my call & wanted to gimme a chance to change something but. oh well. some assholes shld jus *!@$#%^&

kk happy stuff, mm went for on job training on tues, haha saw alot of them being very happy when they graduated. tt brings back memories.. haa to think now im the 1 standing at the grandstand making sure no parents do stupid things. i cant forget tt im the 1 in the parade square nt too long ago.. hmm. well time sorta flies but, certainly not fast enuf.. hate my current life & PLEASE, HELP ME! GIMME A CHANGE! haha hmm its very tired to be an usherer, but i think its very fufilling! =)

nxt topic i am still quite sad abt loADS of stuff, in fact prolly angry.. but i duno if i can change it.zzz oH WELL. life's jus quite SUCKY

ops wad am i saying =.= haiz.. oh well CELEBRATE WHATS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD & NOT WHATS WRONG~

- i managed to book out today & on sat & sun =)
- i dun really haf to chiong sua! =)
- i haf my own free time slacking at night =)
I HAVE A VERY HAPPY LIFE! =D

-bleh tried to play a game but i lost so quickly lol. bleh too bad~ i sucked at this kind of games, while i tot i cld go further=.= zzzz game over =D

JUST another day

thank you very much for those who wished me happy birthday! i LOVE YOU LOADS!

oh. its a sat & im quite tired cuz jus got home not long ago frm mhao hse. haha met most of my frens there & haD quite alot of fun. wanted to go home & stay hoME for long but somehow i over slept .. haha anw this week end is short. mm seems like every1 is getting on well & they are growing & improving & wadever u call it lol while im still the same=.=

hmm lets be optimistic yeah? lol lets see.. my birthday was spent in camp quietly sleeping in bunk & playing my psp. lol=.= but oh well at least i got 1 present compared to my bunkmate who didn get it. haha. mm kena-ed guard duty on sunday & gotta reach the FAR FAR east bitch place by 6pm =.= BUT! im LUCKY. cuz there are 50- 50 chance tt i will get weekend guard duty & i GOT IT! but those who kena saturday guard duty is lagi sad haha. so.. im lUCKy!

oh well. at least i haf my psp to acc mi thru the nite so i wun feel tt bored & lonely. dereforee, im glad enuf tt i haf psp wif mi.

LIFE is FAIR.my ass =.=
i tot seeing a shooting star & making a wish will make the wish come true & the person luckier.. apparently not=.=

p.s. sry alex if u misunderstood.. i dun literally mean shit.. i jus 4got the name so i jus used "shit" to replace the word. sry sry. oh well ppl lets all go to the settlers cafe @ SMU!

class out.

oh ho.. today went class outing.. ok.. guys outing again. lol was expecting the class girls to go but somehow i think they are of higher level & dont reali feel like mingering wif us so oh well.
ok went to alex's shop. omg sia nian qing you wei. haha he did smth which minority of the ppl of our age will do. haha so played some shit at his shop or erm place his business, aiya duno how to call it la. hha

well class peeps are fun, at leassst had a lil break frm my current bunch of super uber close frens. lol not like i dun like my uber close frens but oh well, abit of change is definitely good.
haha so showed some support & had quite abit of fun.

bleh wanted to go out haf fun but =/ short of $$ & not realli enuf manpower so we called it off. zz quite dumb but mayb the feeling is there. so went home after abit of mac & took the stupid $3.50 NR3=.= duno FOR WAD!

mmm ok tts abt it for today well smth joke happened & i realli feel quite proud abt it lOl. shall keep it to myself=.= even tho its nth great. haa.

=.= 5days to <>

home.

well many things happened. if u're free. lets read some loNG story.

STARLIGHT
mm its a real bad while on the other hand good experience. haha there is nth much i can say cuz i dun wana get charged or wadever shit. well few things to sae, its hot, den its wet, den its freezing and tiring. last but not least muddy/dirty. haha but that certainly made mi a stronger man. haha

R&R
haha this portion i guess i can say more abt it. jus theme parks theme parks and theme parks! zZz its my 1st time taking a roller coaster & i finally experience y so many ppl are afraid of taking it. =.= b4 everything, i see ppl chickening out at the last minute.. in my mind, i was like "zz loser coward".. den nxt moment, i sat on the stupid thingy.. THEN, i simply lost control of my own body..=.= im like tossed ard like some dog & the experience aint good at all..LOL its REALLY SCARY. OMG my face is like cramped up & i hugged the handle or wadever shit tt secures ur body to the thingy super tightly.

there is this bitchy thingy which reaches the peak and practically place u perpendicularly to the ground & jus hang ther for 7 seconds.. so u can haf a nice countdown b4 u actually FALL.=.= tt bitch is like sUPER TALL & IS REALLI PERPENDICULAR TO THE GROUND.. OMG SHIT MAN! well tts a pretty good/bad experience tt realli scare the living shit out of mi.

well after tt all the nights were all shopping sprees.
mm i practically bUY any shirt which seems slightly appealing to mi. i barely try out the size & i jus bought w/o much hesitation. haha
oH well bought quite a no. of shirts & went ard sight seeing. WOOOwad a SIGHT. if u noe wad i mean.. the sceneries are REAL BETTER

uh the last day was quite saddening cuz i realli cant bear to leave this beautiful place. right b4 i leave i had my final taiwan meal which is some weird pasta, a treat frm my PC. heh heh. shiok~
oh well b4 i noe it.......... im flying.. bla bla bla.. den im back to singapore.

HomE
didn realli feel enthusiastic when i touch down.. its like.. far frm my imagination.. previously i was so so so eager to go home, but once we reach back, i dun feel much. mayb its bcuz i remb tt i still haf loads of trouble waiting for me at home=.= oh well saw my fren's mum being so touchy wif him & i was thinking if my mum will do the same thing to mi. LOL. isee tt he is really missed.

bleh so waited till 530am b4 i take a cab home. when i reach home, my mum was like "oh u come bac alrdy ah." =.= den she gave me some breakfast & went back to slp=.= OOHHHH wELLL... so i went to the comp & start updating myself wif some stuff.. tts when my dad came out frm his room. he walked past me & didn utter a word..=.= OMG!? lol luckily the 2nd time he walk past me he said "eh?! ur back alrdy ah?! how? izzit fun?" duh standard question. OH WELL. i bet nbdy realli care so i jus stay low profile =/

Passing Out Parade
hoo. gd news is tt im gg pass out frm this shit 6 days after i touch down on singapore. was tortured for 3 full days in parade & on the 4th day. every1 was feeling so HIGH. lOL say bye to grass & mud for alot of us =) if u get wad i mean. lol.

b4 the parade, i specially made a call home to make sure my mum doesnt come to this lame parade. haha dun wanna trouble her to make this lame trip jus to watch this lame parade. mm oh well the parade was long & tiring. & until this part wherby the parents will come down & help their sons put on the chevrons(3sergeant rank) things start to get cranky.=.=
every1's parents was there & suddenly i feel so outcasted lOL. so i did some gd deeds & helped them take fotos. tt explains y i dun haf much fotos on this POP. zz oh well. am quite glad tt i finally survived all the shit. am not proud of it tho, cuz many weak asses also managed to pass it=.= wadever man.

heheeee im posted to be an instructor =D. if u got any younger bro gg army soon, pray hard for him =x
taata. its quite long liao. time to chill off=/

hoo. the lone warrior finally got his chance to take a long long break.

d-day

well kinda miss home. but i will jus face ahead & take everything on like a MAN. will be back as a man too. plz miss me & anticipate to see a brand new me.

haiz.. there is nth i haf to leave behind.. i haf nth to fite for.. zzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzz SIAN!

omg

seriously i dun realli care abt this FINAL mission that is comin previously. my mentality was like " oh sian field camp zz" tts all. but ytd nite, i duno wad came into my mind. seriously.. i began to think abt HOW im gg miss everything tt i haf here ( practically nth) but duno la. jus this feeling.
its jus like tt time... A levels.. was counting down & kept thinking tt "zz theres still alOT of time left.. no wrys i can do it.." den suddenly POP, A lvls is jus the nxt day.. i seriously cant slp the nite b4.. but well its mY lousy attitude which made mi such a failure today. well this time round, even tho its the same feeling, but i duno how i can screw up, but i still feel some sort of uneasiness or uncertainty or wadever.. zz cant realli find the correct word for it.

oh well. tooday finally came out early but frens are all still bz. OWELLS. i will jus try my best to waste this 1 and 1/2 day b4 the finale..zz

schooooool

woo went back to sch todae & didn really do anything special but yea collected a useless piece of paper.. mm had a "tour guide" to guide mi ard pJC had quite a good time chatting wif MR GZ!~
well quite enjoyed the whole thing & the food frm the cafe, which is somehow rather cheap compared to outside food haha guess im still a kid who still find $4 for a drink too expensive.
ahh b4 leaving the sch i saw a bloated ms lee lol. after seeing her really make mi reminded of my sch days. its REAL fun & i seriously dun wana leave the sch todae. zz slacked till the last minute b4 i realli no choice gotta go den i decided to leave my beloved place. hmm swear i will be go back again when i come back frm the STARS.

haiz. really gotta go soon. kinda miss everything here, which i used to take for granted previously. hmm.

chasing after the LIGHT from the STARs

heh. my luck is semi suay. pretty normal. so lets not complain anymore.. since life is SUPPOSEDLY GREAT. kk finally released frm jail on friday & im quite happy. bought mac students meal & tts for dinner.=D cant believe tt even wif my botak hairstyle tt mac staff somehow allowed my to buy a STUDENT meal =D guess i jus look tooooOOooo young for my age. =/ well enjoyed myself at home wif my beloved pLAYsTATIONpORTABLE. woOOoo i lOVED IT TO THE CORE OF ITS MEMORY CARD MAN. played till nite den went to slp already.. was preparing myself for sat=/

SAT
erm yea so i was anticipating myself to be very BUSY on saturdays but somehow it ALWAYS turns out to be the other way. i was sOO bored tt i jus anyhow call my normal weekend go out buddies but SOMEHOW again quite a few of them are BUSY until they cannot even reply. they haf my sympathy man.. i hope they are coping on wif their BUSY life. went out for fun anyway, didn do anything much but jus wasted our time and slacked thruout.ran back hoME frm cck in the evening & prepared for after 9 activities. went to bathe changed & go out again. =x quite a bad lifestyle..zz obviously my parents MISSED me but well... i NEEDA HAF FUN! lol nvm, i will give my sunday to them hha.


well reached home at 530 & still tried to play some games on the comp but too bad. eyes began shutting down at 6..=.= k so went to sleeP! & tts it! z will update more soon.

2 things-> looks like im the only bloody idiot who still remembered our bonds. go freaking stay BUSY ASS BITCHES. i wun care anymore zzz

-> gonna change to be a stronger man soon.

STARLIGHT soon.

whew. its another bookout & finally a break from the evergreen & the everbrown. if u understand wad i meant. but nvm, shall not keep toking abt tt.

hmm went to meet JW & guys ytd. haha had loads of fun toking rubbish jus like b4. guess im too tired tts y i keep talking abt all the shit ytd. lol. hmm went to the MOF for dessert ytd, well the dessert certainly tastes good but i doubt the price is suitable for a poor fellow like mi, who treats cornetto ice cream as a luxury good. bbbut thE ICE CREAM IS SERIOUSLY GOOD ! haha. worth trying if u wan to throw some $ away.

well after tt went for dinner & was discussing abt wad to do after tt. after discussing for abt 1hr+, we decided tt there is nth to do so we went home=.= HOLY SHIT MAN WAD A WASTE?! this is becoming a great problem man. how come we got nth to dO?! zzzzzzzzzz the weekend tt every1 looked forward to is wasted. zzz kk nvm so now i will wanna take this chance to make a notice:
ANYONE GOT ANYTHING TO DO, PLEASE CONTACT ME, PLEASE ASK ME OUT!

k tts it abt tt topic

shall not talk abt boring green & brown life
mmm exactly 1 yr passed. i believe that this is not the state tt i expected myself to be in 1 year ago... bleh. wadever man. time flies~ shall look forward & face STARLIGHT SOON! grRRrrrrrrr

unlucky or ...?

hmm. its been a while and nth is going on well.
well im hanging on to this life but things arent going well as i said, im rather unlucky or shld i say VERY unlucky. or mayb its nth to do wif luck, jus tt my life is screwed up.=.=

- CSB FAIL <- Combat skills badge. .. really nth much to say.. its a navigation test which requires u to look for 1 special tree in the middle of a forest during the day and the night. my group found all the 3 special trees tt we need to find but we didn find the 1 screwed up ass tree which is 3km away frm our start point.=.= den. we fail. - SOC FAIL -.- nehneh i started out quite fast and i tot i was doing well until the last part. ( standard obstacle course: jus run run run den jump over a few logs, climb over a wall, etc etc den run run run again.) the last part, i tot " this is jus a trial test.. lets jus slack a while b4 i go to the end point". zz after tt, den i realized i fail by 13seconds.=.= and tt caused mi 2 weekends.=.= - MOSquito. small problem but im quite angry as well. i got 94 mosquito bites on my body.. neh neh. its supppeprrr itchy and after tt i went to count. cool huh. take tt. tts the main problems which pop out these few weeks. was VERY DEPRESSED. i duno y im sOOOO screwed. =/ watever man. if this is the cursed life i have. i will take it. i will live it the screwed up way. zzzzzzz ps. not to mention the previous screwed up things in my life tt make mi so angry wif my ownself.. seriously...

I HATE THIS! zzz

waste

pfft. i tot that i will haf a very good book out todae since its a long weekend=.= well nth much happened this week & it is far frm a happy or "okok" weekend.=.=

well for fridae, oni few of my peers are free so i stayed home to rest, means doing nth & my bro is using the comp. zzZ so i somehow managed to grab 1 guy out & had supper + tk cock for a while. k quite a boring session which i tot will be the worse outing i will get this weekend. but =)

k so nvm sat, i went town wif my small grp of frens to slack ard & haf dinner which is quite a waste of $ . had QUALITY food tt costs $16+ which cant even fill 3/4 of my stomach & is seriously faR FROM SATISFYING. well i wil let tt pass so heck it.
after tt went to thon LK hse & duno wad i did there except for a few rounds of mahjong nia. hhaa! i didn lose & tts quite encouraging. another not so happening day but bleh.

well sunday morning, i check my handfone.. kuku bo lang frm my class reply mi ( the day b4 i asked abt whether they are interested for class outing. & i specifically asked for a reply no matter wad the answer is) qUITE pissed but well i can still take it. =) so I PLEADED for a reply when finally onli a handful chose to sympathise wif this pathetic loser who seems so despo for a class outing. so i recieved quite a few msg wif a big"NO" slapped into my face. =) haha nvm lo cancel the whole thing lo since im the oni 1 interested in meeting up wif my ex class. since im the only 1 who is so free. since Im the onli 1 having enuf time to go out.. so be it then! =D

yup so slacked for the whole day. den, i experienced another 2 UNFORTUNATE EVENTS.=.=... =.=haiz as tho my weekend is not sad enuf, my woes jus keep piling up.

HAIIIIIIIIIIIZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. i realli need a LONNNGGG sigh to release some anger=/ wel lets hope mayb tml smth nice will happen. zzz

p.s. doesnt really pay to be kind. even tho tts wad i think, i will still perservere to be a nice guy! for now.=.=