last christmas.

hey y'all merry xmas :))


as far as i rmb, ( ive actually read my blog entry frm last xmas.) i actually did meet up with my frens for a gathering. and i think i was the one who organized it loL. anw this year was.... lol im jus sipping beer and munching on them junk food.


so yea,i got wad i wanted, wad i deserved =) year after year, i always hoped tt the nxt wld be better than this year. but this christmas, lemme wish for smth different.




i hope tt nxt christmas wldve been the best one of all. =)


i haf 1 year to work for it anddddd i will make it better than all the previous ones.




new year update will come in few days time

here there.

im back since.... friday? always wanted to haf an update but just cant think of enuf materials to put into one entry. nonetheless im jus gonna try saying something.


hmm christmas and new year is just abt the corner, the past few years has been pretty...... boring? heh since its almost an annual affair tt we wld gather tgt and haf chill out tgt. but this year, i didn wanted to organize it again haha. so im wondering if anything will happen. OK let me rephrase it. i dont think anyones gonna organize anything so, yea this year's gonna be different lol. this year's gonn be lonely and all. well.... a new change? heh. its prolly wad i wanted to happen or at least, its wad i made it happen. lol duno if my sentence sounds correct, heck.


haha the job hunts getting slow, one thing being the job ads aint too attractive, and also after a 2 weeks hiatus, it seems tt my brain's getting alittle bit thrown off course.
to elaborate, ive always wanted to get into this stockbroking, equities sector etc. and to begin with, i dont even haf the exact answer as to why i wanted to. nonetheless, i decided to set my mind to it and be darn sure tt i go the correct way. so, after so many mths of search, perhaps the fatique, perhaps its jus a lost of momentum, i started wondering why am i so adamant in the first place. as in, why did i want to do it so much, and shld i jus gear away frm it and at least get a damn job first?


of  cuz i noe im overstaying my welcome(at home rotting lol) but.... its not like i dont want to work but i... sadly... dont rly noe what i want? and i cant get a job tt wants me. lol


so.... of cuz ill keep going ill keep finding based on my initial decision. so..ok. ill see how it goes? and hopefully my xmas and new year wont be too boring heh

The new life ahead.

So I just found out Smth not so nice. But then again, it's supposed to be over. Longgg longg over. But it jus feels pretty awful. I've always had the slight mentality that Someday somewher I'll get u back. While another part of me knew that it's not gonna happen again. I still do carry tt hope tt, miracle might happen.

So now, I'm pleading this cy. After the end of the ict. I'll. Treat it as a new life. A new beginning. All that has happened ain't gonna matter anymore. Looking forward is key.

Alright let's jus get thru these and live a brand new life ahead.

Cheers.

perserverance

having a short break.while my mind is currently full of finishing this shit, i knew tt shits gonna get tougher; in real life tt is.


when i get outta there, i haf to get a job asap. as i can see my debt snowballing larger and larger. its a good experience, i had to say, tt puts me in a rly uncomfortable position and makes me wanna go back to my normal life so damn much.


kinda haunted by memories these days when i had nth to do and memories will jus come by knocking. live with no regrets Cy. u did wad u thought was right, and who can say tt ur choice aint right? heh. life is always like this. so push on and u will see the light at the end of the tunnel.


so. ok i haf to go back soon. argh.

Inside.

pretty much stoned the whole of today away Cuz of the lack of activities, or perhaps there are activities but I jus Didn go for it. Nonetheless, prolly its a good make of for my lack of slp these days. Since I'm RLY dreading to come back here.

I do wonder why am I always stucked in shitholes, like perhaps a shitty person like me jus deserved to be stuck in one lol. It's, hard to make new frens when they alr had a clique on their own. But well of Cuz I tried my best to stick wif em, hah. It's a little hard for me to get along wif em. Perhaps Its jus the beginning awkward "I noe u but I don't fking noe anything else other than ur name, and we haf to act close" kinda thingy. Lol. Well, it's.. Okay I hope. I'll jus stick to them like gum. Cuz I rly hate being alone. Like. Now LoL.

Many reflections were done these days, like is it worth the sacrifice, did I make the wrong choices again. I wld say, my goals were realistic and definitely doable. It's just me forgetting the fact tt, I had a pretty weak heart. Which I tot was strong. I Felt relieved initially and RLY motivated but, towards the middle part, I start losing sight of my goal, I start needing somebody. I guess that's wher I went wrong. So now, I'm suffering the consequences. I guess it's a lesson I wanted to teach myself. Cherish, humility, open.

Cherish what I haf, be humble and not think too much of myself, be open to ideas and words from other ppl. I'm still learning, I'm still growing. I do miss u. Rly rly. But I shldn do anything abt it, Cuz I suck.

Side note, I'm mega bored of doing nth inside here.-__- pls let today end quickly THX

new start.

finished the cfa ytd which rly...is freaking difficult but, well ive alr made plans for the worst so. i suppose im jus glad tt its over. for now.


feeling pretty horrible these days fretting abt reservist and stuff, of cuz, firstly, its gonna be 2 weeks of doing shit and staying outside. and yea, having to live with ppl im not close with kinda sucked. plus, my low self esteem these days lol....makes it hard to know new ppl. but well.. lets hope tt i can jus endure and live, even if it is in a horrible manner, and jus.. live through it? tho theres no longer anything waiting for me out here but. i.. still love the outside world so much.


the rainy days, the solitude. ill deal with it.


hail to the new start, and lets hope tt my nxt spring will be awesome, when i come out of tt jungle hole.

reality & dreams.

u ever had a nice dream, and u woke up to a nightmare, then u close ur eyes and hope that u can go back to having tt dream again.


it jus happened to me this morning lol, and yea im pretty much living in a nightmare now. if u told the CY 4-5 mths ago, that he wld be outta job even till the end of the year, that he wld be so ill prepared for cFA i bet he'll be scared shitless too.


i knew this is gonna be a lone fight. i noe my strengths and weaknesses, but i guess i still needa keeep learning more abt myself, thru these interviews, its pretty insightful to keep learning things even tho ppl might feel tt its a waste of time. well it aint for me. ppl always claim tt they can help. but no shit, the best way to help is jus stay outta my way and try not to give me extra work having to explain things to u. i... think i noe what i want. lOL but, apparently alot of ppl do not know wad i meant.


well im cool wif tt, cuz it took me q a while to uds the situation too lol, andddd, well. ill get up, ill get back, ill stab back. tho im alr covered with wounds now, i cant die yet, jus... not yet.


if ure truly concerned, i thank u, if ure jus saying or jus trying to appear almighty, well. thank u too. i hope u did feel better abt urself. cuz u noe, ure awesome, ure cool, ure good and alll. wow. yea.


k.


the fight will prolly drag on further, but, lets do this.

tomorrow.

its alrdy nearing the end of november.


perhaps its due to the fact tt exams are coming in, and the fact tt ive been pretty much coped up at home, it feels tt time really simply jus flew past. day by day, ill jus be waiting for tml to come like " ah tml im gonna do this. i will catch up on the studying tml." and then pop, ive only got 1 week left. -.-


ah. brain's pretty much not in the mood to blog lol. but i tot i shld write smth down to remind myself what i did and how i felt these days. might update again soon but now, lol. tts it yay


k im back to add in more stuff. lol. u know, the longer this job hunt drags on, the more im beginning to lose sight of what I am looking for. so many times, ive decided on the things tt I gotta do and den, I realised tt no, I cant do it tt way. and im supposed to go the other way around. and then I'll go and hide in a corner and den cursing to the wall. so what shld I do now. this way or the other, I don't know. lol. perhaps.. I shld go this way, the way tt ppl cursed at, or no, I shld go the way where ppl will jus feel indifferent about?


ok. i jus finished a practice paper. and i freaking scored 53/120. fking fail. and wif reference. am i stupid or wtf. lol. god. its tt feeling again. tt feeling of working hard, trying hard and failing. nonetheless im jus blogging now instead of revising tt shit. but argh fk. this shit sucked. so much. shld prolly go back to em later on


fking shit.








and i jus feel tt u're pretty disgusting.

the flower of hope.

apparently I haven't found it yet. lOL. but life's gonna go on. hahha. life isnt what i rly hoped tt it wld turn out as but, as long as i still live, im still good to go.


the job hunt is rly.. lol... ambiguous, whereby the end seemed so near and the nxt moment, "pop" i went back to the starting point. not gonna complain still.. cuz... my parents haf not given up on me, as i have yet to give up.


much studying and understanding is still needed for CFA. but..i jus cant seem to find the motivation to. even as ive alrdy removed every, single, distraction there might be. perhaps tt loneliness, tt solitude is whats bringing me down.


ive been using running man as a escape. ( heh thx man) but.. escaping arent gonna solve the problem. as i noticed in u too, u tend to escape when u face a problem, and ive tried to correct tt. but aw, that irony. i realized tt ive been doing the same thing. i shldve been rly focused on studying now. but.. every other thing seemed to haf attracted my attn.




i guess god heard my voice, saying how i am accepting ur absence and all. then i saw an update on ur life and i thought i needed some  beer again. tt intentional prank played on me. lol


but, well. i... haf to live a better life. i cant live in sorrow forever and i wont be able to do anything if im jus another pathetic worm crawling ard. ill.. try to still live wif  pride. i must.

Frustration.

went back to school to print some past year papers and, with the drizzle going on, i decided to go for a little walk down the memory lane. places which ive been to so often, places where we've went thru tgt. the memory is still fresh in my mind but, wanting it to happen again is no longer possible. mayb i shld be glad tt u're not wif me now anw, cuz, this harsh period tt im gg thru, its better not for anyone to see. lol tt wldve been so embarrassing.


tt aside, its pretty frustrating to go for interviews, and not getting the offer. lol. i wonder how many times have tt been now, and yes its pretty much my fault for not preparing enuf and not putting in the effort to understand the job. it feels so bad tt im practically rotting my life away, whereby i cldve been doing so much more.


and ppl wld be like "hows ur job hunt so far" fuck u. isnt the fact tt im unemployed self-explanatory to tt qn? and argh pls. jus gimme tt job lol. it rly sucked so much to be a liability, it rly sucked tt im so willing to work harder than anyone else and do so much better than any average other, but i dont haf the capability to prove it. my god. no


pick me up. please.

yet another.

am blogging frm starbucks lOL. perhaps due to geographical reasons, im seeing many familiar faces. lol. I wonder if I wld look familiar to them too cuz... I think I wld appear pretty different than before lOL. but no one's came over to talk to me so I guess tts cool. well I wasn't particularly nice to other ppl after all so... most likely nbdy wld wanna come over even if they do recognise me lol!

browsed thru my past few blog entries and I realised tt the contents haf pretty much been the same, and I sinderely apologize for tt. for being so repetitive, for being so lame.
for a change, im jus gonna talk abt erm, things tt are more.... not so emo?

went for another job interview and heck, im pretty sure I want this job. but.. thing is I was only informed abt the interview ytd afternoon and well I looked thru the job description tt didn look too interesting. but, as the interviewer went into details abt the job, gosh. I want it man. fk me for being not prepared.=_=

but well its ok. its just another item to add into my LONNNNNGGGGGGG anaconda-ishly LONNGGGGGGG LIST OF failures. jus one additional item wont make it look tt different lOL.

results, aren't known yet but I do hope for the best.

in dire need to study but damn, had to go to my bro's hse fr a couple of drinks
yea alcohol. lOl.=_=. well I asked him if I cld go for a drink on one occasion (when I was feeling rly down) and I ended up not gg lol. and, he's been asking me fr a couple of times alr and... I don't think its nice to reject him any further, jus as I was in urgent need of studying time, gosh I feel so unprepared.

hai... bonding is impt too, so... I guess... lets do it =0, and work smth out. okay.

it finally started sinking in, the fact tt u;re no longer within my reach. im, most likely cool wif tt. jus, don't invoke my memories and ill be fine.

ive got impt things to do after all

the season's change.(memories in the rain)

It's starting to rain pretty frequently these days, a sign tt December is coming, the year is ending. This year seemed to haf past by pretty quickly, perhaps it feels the same every but well. Okay. 

Being jobless for so long felt so bad, u noe, being a liability and all. Not being able to go out wif ppl Cuz of financial constraints, staying home for the whole day for God knows what reason. I hope it ends soon, while at the same time Im q afraid abt the uncertainty ahead. 

 

Well I've always had a thing for the rain, memories.? Mayb. But whenever there is a storm outside, I wld stare into it and jus start thinking abt the past, not RLY abt u noe, events tt happened in the rain previously but, jus whatever tt affects me the most.?

The rain is a trigger to the painful/most significant memories in my mind. Lol I wonder if I made it sound understandable but okay. 

I've tot of hw my life wld be if I didn make tt "wrong" decision then. It seems tt, Mayb, just Mayb, even if I had stucked myself to U, I wld most prolly not be very happy nonetheless. Well humans aren't animals tt can be satisfied easily. I wld probably had a lot of fun wif u and neglected the cfa, I cld still be working in spinelli, if not I wldve jus randomly accepted any job tt came. instead of wad I'm doing now (which is erms, supposingly searching for the correct job tt I wanted)

And then I'll still feel fked up tt I'm stucked wif someone like u. And then The same thing will happen again lol. Well. We were meant to break after all. I wld only cherish u if I didn had u, and u aren't the kind who will slowly stand there and wait for me to come back. Perhaps tts a inevitable fate. So, I had to accept this. 

Nonetheless abt another person, lol we haf on one side someone who wanted to care abt u, and u're jus going ard and getting ur heart break. Ain't it weird? Human tt is. Like, u're most likely attracted to things tt are not attracted to u lol.and thus we have  so many unhappy human running ard. 

Well well tt irony, tt rain, tt season of festive is coming again. And to me, it's jus an awful scorn.

Me and my beer against the world.

Ya. I uds tt its supposed to be "my beer and I " and a more appropriate title for today shldve been
"My beer and I against the storm" but let's jus leave it tt way, heh.
Wanted to study at Mac after trying out the ebi burger but apparently it's mega flooded wif ppl even at like 9+. I wonder wads wrong wif em, like why are there so many ppl having Mac at 9+ wher it's too early to be supper timing and too late to be dinner timing. But oh wells I'm there Cuz I wanted to study, so ive got a real valid reason to purposely avoid the supposingly busy dinner timing. But alas, it's still mega packed wif ppl walking ard wif their trays of food.
And that's another issue. If u noe tt it's rly crowded, why wld u buy ur food first and den search for a seat, u're jus gonna look ridiculous walking ard wif a tray, in a crowded fast food restaurant. Nope, I noe wad these ppl are thinking, no matter what, nope. Don't expect tt jus becoz u haf a tray of food, u will get a seat.

Ugh so abt me, cuz of tt crowd, I Didn haf the cheek to take out my stuff to study even tho I RLY wanna to. Kindhearted CY left his seat straight after eating tt ebi burger and proceeded to buy 2 cans of beer. LOl

As I've mentioned, or Uve seen, today is RLY RLY rainy. Did I use the right description? Well heck it anw. So wif a small umbrella, 2 beer, I went on an adventure to walk thru the heavy rain. It's pretty scary tho, lol wif the Lightning and stuff. Not tt Im afraid of the loud noises frm thunders but I'm more afraid tt i wld get hit by lightning and end my wonder life so randomly, lol

Anw, the experience of walking thru the rain and the fear tt came wif it made me feel... Alive. Since I've been pretty much coped up doing my own stuff and haven't rly felt much emotions these days, so yea I felt alive. It feels nice to be drinking beer, in the middle of a heavy thunder storm, wif my soaking wet shoes and socks and shorts. It's rly smth I haven't experienced it for a longggg while. Lol. Perhaps I'm crazy, perhaps everyone else is like this too. Like putting myself in an uncomfortable position intentionally jus to feel the thrill. If u get wad I meant lol. So yea a nice long walk while relating this situation to my current life situation. Like even if there's a storm pelting down on u, it's not tt bad if u haf an umbrella, well it's awesome if u had a beer but tts optional lol. The storm will be over sooner or later, and when it happens, what is left wld be a better tml, and a stronger u. Bleh duno if it's making sense, I'll prolly review and edit it Tml. Tts it for now I guess.


Today's pretty normal, nth bad happened so I guess I can call it a good day.?

lol

out of boredom, i extracted a part of my history to remind myself of my thoughts then. here goes:


"I've been telling myself to keep my distance. I hope this time I finally managed to. As I've said. It's better to hurt nw than later. The amt of pain wldve been so much more. I'm suffering too. When u hurt smbdy, ure digging 2 graves. Haha tho nt till tt extreme but, roughly la hor. so yes, taking a step back and looking at the bigger picture, looking into the future, pls let it stay like this for a while. I hope I won't be the one breaking my promise but yes pls gimme the strength to."




annnnnddd yUP! i became the one who broke the promise lOL! after...5 mths? heh. yup. i semi expected tt. but well at least i lasted for 5 mths so lol. Tho i still think of u every once in a while, i guess i can be cool bout everything tt happend. since i haf to believe tt i was rationale when i made the decision then. things changed, life moved on, and i turned out pretty differently frm wad i had expected. i tried crawling back cuz i was lonely, i guess tt was so dumb right ridiculous.


i knew how the game goes, the 1 who gave in more loses out, but i just....wanted to try, wanted to fight b4 giving up.


nonetheless, even tho right now, im in a pretty ridiculous state, i shall trust in that cy who still had a rationale brain. that cy who wasnt tormented by loneliness, that cy, who didn felt like a uselesss asshole.


heh. still.. i dont give up. i will keep working hard, and even tho things dont work out my way, i wont stop until it does. =)
even tho ive been repeating this for many times, i guess this helps to show tt i wont give up no matter how the odds seemed to be againtst me.










here goes nothing.

here comes the rain 2

lol. if ure wondering bout the "2", cuz this title came to my mind today and i was thinking if ive used it before, so i checked it out and yup! i used it on a post tt was on 5th Jan 2014. basically jus abt u noe, wanting to spend more time with my family and wanting to forget the past memories tt was triggered by the rain stuff?


not tt bad, but today the rain has another meaning to me. it reminds me tt i cldve been out there in the cold, cldve been not able to walk ard, oh yea, i went down for a walk after seeing the downpour. heh, just attracted to rain in general, and yup it wldve been perfect if it was at night, with a cold beer in hand LOL. try it sometimes, its pretty awesome.


so the cold wind reminds me tt i cldve been out there, i cldve been in a very uncomfortable state and not happily walking ard to buy food. in fact heck, the way im spending money, i shldve went bankrupted months ago. so i shld be contented with wad i haf and, strive to achieve more, instead of whining abt wad i cldnt haf. yes its true tt life hasnt been very fair to me, but well i havent been fair to other ppl ard me anw so ill call it quits.


the me now is rly smth not worth mentioning, i hate it when i bcome a liability instead of an asset. to top it off, my brain's constantly getting distracted and i cant help it. a good way to solve this is to get outta the house and study but, apparently i wld need money for tt, and tt is smth i dont rly haf LOL


so what now? nth. continue my life. day by day, and hope for the better, i cannot give up. there are too many ppl i had to impress. well even if i dont, at least i wanna live normally, like any other average ppl out there. okay. yea

Oh, hi November.

so it's alrdy November since ytd. Lol. So September was pretty bad, October was spent drowning myself in self pity and stuff, but heck, I Didn think I've been rly happy for a long long time. It's almost like I'm always trapped in the endless loop of unhappiness. but yea, even if im not happy, i can still live, and as long as i live, i will be happy someday.


tracing back, ive pretty much wasted the WHOLE of my october drinking and wasting time away, and being emotional for wadever shit. perhaps tts the autumn's sorrow? haha like a person will always want to have a companion in this season. heh. but wells. ive alrdy did all tt was within my capabilities, ive alrdy greived more than i shld. and i hafta put my focus on the right stuff now. tt one month wasted, i.. hope it wont affect me too much. after all, in tt month, i did a hell lot of reflection too.


time to get my priorities right. time to get back into the game. and well, life sucked but the fight aint over yet. its only challenging when all the odds are against me. =) heh. if its any easier, it wldve been all too easy.

hi hello.

jus came home from a little bit of drinking with slightly less expenditure on drinks. it was pretty nice to haf frens to hang out with, even tho its not alot of them, and family who wld come and haf dinner tgt for catching up sessions. it seems nth much but perhaps i shld be glad abt it since its really not a given.
its pretty common to haf frens who's saying "oh sorry i cant make it today, oh sorry ive got smth on tonight" etc. it sure is frustrating but... we haf to accept them as they are? cuz.. if they didn wanna hang out with u, it means tt u're just less worthy than anything else tt they were spending their time on. heh. true? yup, solution to that? make sure tt u are worth their time. prolly by making urself more useful to them, or... somehow make ur self look beneficial to them in due course haha.
perhaps its making friendship sound so disgustingly superficial but... tts nature, even tho u've been frens for like 10+ years, if ure deemed as not entertaining enuf, not useful in future, u will still get disqualified to haf their time. haha nope, it works for all frenships, if u totally disagree now, wait for a few years later, and u will uds what i meant.


nonetheless, i still had a few frens left spending time wasting time tgt, which is pretty... ok? given tt my status now looks so fked up. of cuz i uds tt someday they might get rid of me too if i continue to rot like im doing now, heh, i will make sure im worthy b4 tt happens, or, i will make sure it will happen someday and they will get back to me. im cool with tt, after all...i guess im the same too.


okay nxt topic, u've been coming out frm my mouth and in my mind so much more these days, perhaps its due to the fact tt im going through the phase of regret. it is..ok. part and parcel of life but... yea i regretted not keeping u. and i shldnt haf thought so much abt what other ppl will think of us. but well.... since it alrdy happened.... someone else will be able to get me, the me who wld really devote myself to the person who rly cared for me and will not do anything half heartedly. its rly a pity tt it wont be u tho, cuz... u're the one who changed me. nonethelesss, if u will attain a greater happiness, as ive alr said so many times, go ahead girl. i... shld be fine without u.


the only easy day is yesterday, every tomorrow is gonna be challenging but, i'll live. i'll live. i dont give up. i will work harder, day. by. day.

im fine, thank u

met up and hanged out with minhan for q a while jus now and were talking about our past lifes. lol like secondary, jc, uni... etc. thinking back, i've lacked courage for so many occasions and let so many things slipped past. and here i tot im a brave person, well i guess im just full of fear, full of indecisiveness.


perhaps it comes with age, like thinking back how different my life wld be if i did smth different then, hah it wld seem like my whole history wldve changed if my decision was different few years back. and yup ive talked bout this b4 but today is prolly the first time i actually talked to sme1 and gave it much more thought


went home and felt empty again, haha of coz with all the regrets trying to get me down and with no one there to make me feel better. Even tho i shldve been used to it by now but...lol i guess it still hurts no matter how many times it has been. nonetheless, its a cold world we're living in and i am pretty much the same as everybody else out there. so ive got to help myself up. ive gotta be pick myself up.




so here i am now. same old place. same old spot. but yup be positive, be thankful. im glad tt i haf such supportive family, im glad to haf supportive friends, im glad tt i had the strength to go through all these. it sucks but ill try my best to make it out of all these. and when it ends, ill smile. ill try my best to smile everyday and be a happy person.




-like this, another day passed. thoughts of u kept coming to my mind whenever im talking abt anything. tho....i shldve been glad tt i left u at tt spot, if not it cldve hurt so much more. n i do wonder wld u think of me at times too, wld u be reminded of us at those places tt we've been to tgt? if u do, I hope tt u wld do it with a smile, if so, I'll sincerely thank u. and ill oso work hard on my side so dont worry.


im fine. thank u.

the flip side.

lol. so there goes that opportunity. and i was thinking that this couldve been their goal from the start. how easy it must haf been, jus a few messages and u wld want me to change my mind?






well yes im desperate but... stilll, i duno. im afraid of making the wrong choices again. thus i decided to listen to the people around me this time. ill.. give it one more try. one more wait. even tho im really running on a short edge right abt now.


just as before, the end tt looked like its gonna be within my reach, suddenly disappeared into thin air. and then i haf to start all over again.


 lol nonetheless, ill be fine. im cy.


yea. time for a beer.

that ending.

perhaps i shldve been glad. perhaps i shldve cursed my fate, cursed whatever tt made things this way. but well, its a matter of perspective.
'hope' is something tt helps u move forward, thinking tt there is smth worth fighting for at the end of the tunnel. while at the same time, tt 'hope' could haf led u fighting for eons and then finally ending up at the same place where we started.
with all hope lost, we will stop moving in tt direction and thus able to focus on other stuff tt might've led to better returns. so i guess i shld be thankful tt the cold harsh fact was slapped into my face. TWICE. within this short span of time.


keep moving, keep fighting, keep climbing. tts my motto. but well, there are times wher i felt so low, felt so empty to the point where i forgot abt my motto totally.
at least for now, yes, knock me down. kick me. throw shit into my face. i wont give up. ill rise back up, and when i do, i wont forget those who were wif me, and those who werent. not tt im gonna kick u outta my life but ill keep u close to me. as the saying goes, keep ur frens close,and keep ur enemies closer. ill bring u sorrow tt u wld nv expect.


so yes. a little cliche but yup, to my family, thank u for being with me when im in this state, i will try my best to repay u ppl. and to those other ppl, :) be ready.


thank u and goodbye.