i have returned.

so i had my last paper today. things didn go smoothly but i did wad i could and.. we'll leave the rest to fate. but wad ive been dying to say aint anything tt gotta do wif exams( at least not directly)

Have u ever thought of how things would haf been if some1 didn jus appear into ur life suddenly? i did. she jus suddenly came into my life. at first, i wasnt realli interested but , unknowingly, something attracted me more and more AND MUCH MUCH MORE. It is something on the inside. the character, the personality, the real thing tt made me lose all my resolve, my pride, my sanity perhaps.

Jus a lil gesture frm you tt may seem like nth, but it really shook the deepest part of my dead heart. i nv believed tt it wld be able to accept any1 else yet, u went in, and took a very impt place in this heart which managed to be resusitated.
the time spent wif you was realli like a dream. a really sweet 1. if im not wrong, i dont think any1 haf ventured so deep into me. ure adventurous, uve realli explored an uncharted horizon. i totally fell, for u. TOTALLY, so much so tt i didn mind putting down my pride jus to please u, to prevent u frm ignorin me. many things which used to b so impt to mi, totally dont anymore.
im sure tt things will really b different if u didn appear. i would haf stepped into WCC. i wldn ever get a SB card. i wld nv b so eager to go back and make coffee(wif hope tt u will drink it) i would haf been able to do much much much better( if my assumptions were correct) in my exams. tho i haf got so many complains, but still, i felt tt it shld be worth it.

HOWEVER, things always dont haf good endings, at least not for mi, my stories always ends as a joke, a comedy, a failure. tho im not sure abt many things, but i do trust my senses this time(tho i srsly pray tt im wrong) i feel tt, there is some1 else in ur heart.
this realli feels heartwrenching. which is also smth tt realli bothered mi for SO FREAKING LONG. who is tt guy. wad a lucky asshole disgusting piece of shit. ZZzz.

arghhh today marks the end of the dream tho, the one whereby i haf all the legitimate reasons to meet u. nw i dont haf it anymore and i think u wont take the initiative, much as i dont haf to courage to face it. WELL! I HOPe tt we will realli haf a chance to get much closer and i realli wanna be urs. ok sry, i wan u to be MINE. BUT..=.= oh wells we shall see then

Ivy Landy Yvonne.

good evening

good evening ppl. im a week away from my nxt 2 consecutive papers but im troubled by... yea =) troubled cuz of all the uncertainties abt u. troubled abt my exams, troubled and w/o my frens with me.

i cant bring myself to face the fact, i cant bring myself to say it out to my frens as well, since it makes me looks weak. i always tot tt i shld be strong enuf now. but perhaps, ppl jus dont change whenever it comes to this. i felt as tho im back into tt loop. tho i shld be used to the loniness by now, however tt glimmer of hope which is shone on me due to ur kindness made my heart started moving again. *im a little exaggerating here but ohh wells. not realli for ppl who noes me to see this so haha-

argh damn. i lost my feelings cuz of some distractions. ohh well ill jus end ard here. conclusion, im realli uncertain abt our future, i duno how u feel abt mi, but i suppose if i successfully transmitted my feelings into ur heart ( i would say brain wld be technically more correct but haha oh wells=) ) i would haf no regrets, and if u were not able to reciprocrate my feelings for u, its ok, i will jus live wif that pain on my own. i shld be fine... i.. shld be able to.. take it. :')