Was feeling really really horrible 2days ago when I knocked off frm work.
Haha was really unhappy abt a lot of stuff recently and the main reason tt ticked me off was bcuz of this colleague of mine, to b exact, superior, whom didn manage to earn my respect kept picking on stuff which I didn do well. URE RIGHT. Totally right. I'm a really lousy employee. I duno why I haf the cheek to talk back and even ignored all tt she said but, I somehow reacted to my instincts. So I jus showed some attitude and went home.
I was really angry abt a lot of things, I wont say tt she is not at fault totally but, I deserve to be shot and I'm really at fault to a greater extend. I didn really noe wad caused me to lose my temper(to b honest, I'm actually quite good at controlling my temper) but, yea I totally lost it recently. I did some reflection on my way home tho. At first I was thinking, "why am I always in this situation. Why do I always haf to work under ppl who don't deserve my respect". Den suddenly,I tried to recall if there is any of my superior in which I really showed respect to. I'm thinking, probably none. Which could seriously mean tt the problem lies wif me. "I am not as good as I thought I am. And I don't show proper respect to any1 and tt is why, I'm always so fed up wif my job" and so it led me to think tt mayb it's the same wif my life. I'm really hating a lot of things in my life, my job, my frens, my family. Like I wld always feel tt they haf some bad points which I really hate. But I'm still living wif it but not feeling really happy wif tt.
Am I expecting too much? Am I worthy enuf to expect so much frm ppl, why am I so unhappy abt my life. Do I really hate these things ard me.? Or do I hate myself tt I trapped myself in these horrible shit. Ya, the more I think abt it, the more horrible I feel, jus den, u msged me. LOL. Like oh wow, needless to say, I felt better after talking to u. Tho I didn wanna let other ppl noe of all the problems I'm facing but, jus talking abt all the unnecessary stuff wif u made me happier. Tho it's like a short and sweet dream, thx anyway.
Ya special thx to AS who talked abit wif me as well. Haha was really at a very low point den but, perhaps I jus wanted to talk to sombdy. Anybdy. Oh wells now, I will try my Best to welcome tml wif a smile. I'll really.. Try. Please lemme b happy.!.
