well well, on the hunt for a month now.. thinking back.. had quite a few regrets.."should have .... i should have..." lol cuz i turned down a few job opportunities.. now, jobless.. kinda regret it but OH WELL. i cant do much since i gave them up in hope of better opportunities.. well well. jus a wrong "investment" nth much to whine abt.
yea yea still jobless.. my frens must be luffing hard rite now... "cy is lousy.. cant even find a job." aww.. wad can i say. nbdy replies to my emails haha. mayb my resume is just poor.
kk tts it for now. nth much to update anw jus sleep & stone everyday.
oh. im learning jap=) haha
ohyasuminasai.
finally thought things thru.. phew. let it go. SUI!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Sunday, March 14, 2010
life goes on.
yes. i stopped at the part when i overcame another milestone in my life. but that just brought me back to reality. The real world. the me who shouts @ ppl, who scolds ppl for leisure and command ppl does not exists. yes. the dream is over, i awakened & found myself lying on the same bed as 2 yrs ago. the problem which i tried to ignore in my dreams resurfaced & started to haunt me again. yes =) Uni.
im lost. previously, i would just ignore this topic & jus keep in mind that its not happening yet... when the time comes, the problem will be solved automatically. escape, definitely.. escaping from the harsh truth.. LOL =x
well well, short term goals first! found a job at Cold Storage as an ADMIN ASSISTANT / ORDER COORDINATOR.. take note, thx. not packer, not cashier, not storeman & not a deliveryman! =.= cuz previously whenever ppl ask me "hey where are u working at?", i will reply "cold storage"and immediately, they will give me a look of disdain and i noe wads in their minds.
"Must be some cashier or wadever lowly paid part time job". lol OHHHhhHH Wwelll.
mm drowned myself with work almost everyday frm the nov till christmas. Was reaally busy, but somehoW i survived. mm yea met frens to go out once in a while but somehow, i feel that the magic is no longer there =/ whenever i hang out with frens... i didn really feel tt much happiness, i laughed alot less than b4. wonder why. izzit bcoz i changed? or izzit my frens grew up too much, too fast for me to catch up with.? i dont noe. i do miss the times, when i can laugh with them till my stomach cramps. those were the days..
well well.. new yr flew past, den comes chinese new yr, an annual event when i will stay home and slack while my frens were visiting their relatives. Occassionally, i do get jealous when ppl were discussing abt how they hang out with their cousins & how much fun they got. while for me, that topic seems so foreign to me. ( since my cousins are in a foreign land ) =/ OH WELL. tts life.
hoo hoo was suPer looking forward to leaving my workplace as its really boring towards the end when we do not get as much work as compared to before. learnt alot of things there, i THOUGHT i grasped many of the relavant social skills & business skills + work experience. felt great as i get to meet loads of ppl frm the real world =) some in a more dire situation as compared to me, financially. heehee.. but nonetheless these little pride i finally gained were soon CRUSHED TOTALLY when i met my jc frens..
yes. i tot i grew quite abit after sometime back to the real corporate world. i was happy when i met my jc frens after sometime, since ive always been bz working working working.. living in my own world. lol. funny thing is, i realized, what i learnt recently, my new gained knowledge which i THOUGHT was so powerful, so new, so fresh, is nth more than superficial information. wow. lol my heart sank.. totally.
hohoho.. so my contract ends @ feb 27. was super happy that im leaving that place cuz i felt real bored there. yea. i THOUGHT with my work experience, i can find a job easily in a very shoRT time frame.
aww not to mention, the ghost UNI came back to haunt mi everyday, its not that i do not want to solve the problem.. the fact is that, i cant solve the problem! i kept on escaping from it nt bcuz im lazy, its bcuz, i cant face the fact! well well, im totally, really lost now. i have my directions, but i cant move forward.
well well. lost as usual, im unemployed for 2 full weeks now. my tiny bit of confidence which i build up. is nth more than a tiny flicker now.
arghh.. gonna get back on my feet. i must push on. THE HUNT CONTINUES. tomorrow.
I MUST NOT FALL!
mm met u today. lol. it was a un"expected" encounter. haha, why? thats bcoz i didn wanted to go there at all initially, some incidents happened & thus i decided to go. but, my weak & dumb mind secretly held on a small ray of hope that i will meet u. & wow. whenever i see u, i become weak & lousy @ expressing myself, my confidence level is at 0. i noe i did poorly everytime im wif u but. oh well im happy deep inside, plainly due to the fact that, i saw u.
i thot time heals all wounds, time will make mi forget.. obviously, i havent. i duno y im so weak.=.= so lame=.= so.. loser. but. well well.i noe my place.
probably jus due to the fact that i havent find any1 else who will make mi feel this way.
im a loser. i suck big time =.=
im lost. previously, i would just ignore this topic & jus keep in mind that its not happening yet... when the time comes, the problem will be solved automatically. escape, definitely.. escaping from the harsh truth.. LOL =x
well well, short term goals first! found a job at Cold Storage as an ADMIN ASSISTANT / ORDER COORDINATOR.. take note, thx. not packer, not cashier, not storeman & not a deliveryman! =.= cuz previously whenever ppl ask me "hey where are u working at?", i will reply "cold storage"and immediately, they will give me a look of disdain and i noe wads in their minds.
"Must be some cashier or wadever lowly paid part time job". lol OHHHhhHH Wwelll.
mm drowned myself with work almost everyday frm the nov till christmas. Was reaally busy, but somehoW i survived. mm yea met frens to go out once in a while but somehow, i feel that the magic is no longer there =/ whenever i hang out with frens... i didn really feel tt much happiness, i laughed alot less than b4. wonder why. izzit bcoz i changed? or izzit my frens grew up too much, too fast for me to catch up with.? i dont noe. i do miss the times, when i can laugh with them till my stomach cramps. those were the days..
well well.. new yr flew past, den comes chinese new yr, an annual event when i will stay home and slack while my frens were visiting their relatives. Occassionally, i do get jealous when ppl were discussing abt how they hang out with their cousins & how much fun they got. while for me, that topic seems so foreign to me. ( since my cousins are in a foreign land ) =/ OH WELL. tts life.
hoo hoo was suPer looking forward to leaving my workplace as its really boring towards the end when we do not get as much work as compared to before. learnt alot of things there, i THOUGHT i grasped many of the relavant social skills & business skills + work experience. felt great as i get to meet loads of ppl frm the real world =) some in a more dire situation as compared to me, financially. heehee.. but nonetheless these little pride i finally gained were soon CRUSHED TOTALLY when i met my jc frens..
yes. i tot i grew quite abit after sometime back to the real corporate world. i was happy when i met my jc frens after sometime, since ive always been bz working working working.. living in my own world. lol. funny thing is, i realized, what i learnt recently, my new gained knowledge which i THOUGHT was so powerful, so new, so fresh, is nth more than superficial information. wow. lol my heart sank.. totally.
hohoho.. so my contract ends @ feb 27. was super happy that im leaving that place cuz i felt real bored there. yea. i THOUGHT with my work experience, i can find a job easily in a very shoRT time frame.
aww not to mention, the ghost UNI came back to haunt mi everyday, its not that i do not want to solve the problem.. the fact is that, i cant solve the problem! i kept on escaping from it nt bcuz im lazy, its bcuz, i cant face the fact! well well, im totally, really lost now. i have my directions, but i cant move forward.
well well. lost as usual, im unemployed for 2 full weeks now. my tiny bit of confidence which i build up. is nth more than a tiny flicker now.
arghh.. gonna get back on my feet. i must push on. THE HUNT CONTINUES. tomorrow.
I MUST NOT FALL!
mm met u today. lol. it was a un"expected" encounter. haha, why? thats bcoz i didn wanted to go there at all initially, some incidents happened & thus i decided to go. but, my weak & dumb mind secretly held on a small ray of hope that i will meet u. & wow. whenever i see u, i become weak & lousy @ expressing myself, my confidence level is at 0. i noe i did poorly everytime im wif u but. oh well im happy deep inside, plainly due to the fact that, i saw u.
i thot time heals all wounds, time will make mi forget.. obviously, i havent. i duno y im so weak.=.= so lame=.= so.. loser. but. well well.i noe my place.
probably jus due to the fact that i havent find any1 else who will make mi feel this way.
im a loser. i suck big time =.=
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Shhh...
hmm.. do ppl still write blogs nowadays?
Oh well, i guess i will continue to update my life on this place=) for my personal reference haha.
___________________________________________________________________
In case someone else other than myself is reading my blog, this portion is for u=)
well im back to writing blog due to several reasons, namely
- im really bored
- happened to stop by my own blog recently, i read through my previous posts and i was like "Oh, so i was like that?!" haha.. brings back alot of my memories and my emotions then.
- felt that my english standard is starting to go dOWN doWN doWN! & my frens told me that writing blogs will probably improve my english. so..
Thats abt it!
____________________________________________________________________
ok ok ok lONG post again since i didn update for like err...1 year? oh slightly less than that. haha
where shall i start.. oh well i will jus continue from my previous entry..
May 2009
what was i doing then.? lOL i forgot=) basically from May09 till Oct09.. im still an instructor in the "Land where soldiers are born". so nth much to update abt.. haha was rather demanding and strict to those bunch people and wasnt very well-liked by every1.. but, im jus doing my job, and i really wanted to do it well.
plz do not misunderstand, im VERY well-liked by my fellow instructors, haha, really had loads of fun together with them. aww.
so u shld be able to guess who dislikes me? The top & bottom =) if u get wad i mean.
Blah forget it.. shall not go into details abt tt cuz its classified + its very long if u wan mi to elaborate further.
okok so from oct 09 onwards, i was gg on off & leave + MC(for wisdom tooth extraction).. heehee so for the whole of Oct, im basically slacking at home or out wif frens having fun WHILE still drawing my salary =) life was realli heavenly then.
wOoo 11 11 09 haha a day that i was SUPER looking forward to! haha its *** day. before that day we(my fellow instructors from my batch) were kinda like a semi celebrity among my junior instructors.. cuz the juniors will always "wah lau eh.. *** liao lah hor.. sian sia i 1 more year" den my reply will always be "aiya i still long la.. still long. dun say *** first"
UNtil that day itself.. i was sleeping in my office until i awakened by a few bunch of ppl marching and singing loudly=.= was rather pissed when i opened my eyes and look at my watch.. =.=5:50. in the morning. oh 5:50 was considered very early for me as i just came back from my off & leaves. so for the past month ive been waking up in the afternoon.. so.. for tt day itself when i woke up at 5:50am, i was rather not used to it.
but, 1 thing went to my mind tt time, "eh? isnt today my...my *** day?!" and i literally smiled to myself =) oh im smilling to my monitor as i was typing as well. haha so i got up, brushed my teeth, walked around, stoned, and packed my bag & braced myself to leave this place for good. alone in the office, i began to feel some emotions stirring inside me, this place that i hate so much, i actually developed a sense of belonging for it after 1 year in there. its actually a mix feeling joy & sadness for me. as in yea, for me. to me, it kinda feels the same as compared to my previous graduation ceremonies in schools. but b4 tt, i told myself tt i hate this god-forsaken place.. this place where my freedom is bound, this place where.. i had cursed so many times.. but at the point of time when i really have to leave, a weak voice in my heart is whispering to me, "im gona miss this place, this is the last time"...
no matter wad, i gotta go means, i gotta go. i picked up my bag and made my way out. i saw my fren & he said "wah *** liao hor u" , surprisingly, my reply was the same as before! "aiya i still long la.. still long la.." rite after i said tt phrase, i realized its.. now. now im gonna ***.. its no long still long anymore.. haha aw so tts abt it. i got back a card that SO many guys are talking abt. the pink thingy =)
on my way out, i didn realli feel much.. i wasnt as happy as i thought i would be. and i wasnt that emotional as tt morning. i didn feel anything. just "oh im going home".
aww aww aww what a long pOSt alrdy..=.= im just done wif my army life journey. but wow. its alrdy like.. errr 825words?! aww.. gotta sum up and just end this post first.
aww ive gotta say, ive changed. the way i view things changed drastically. aiyo, its hard to explain it here. nbdy will realli believe it anw. but seriously, ive changed. i noe it myself=) so yup the 1 yr 10mths not wasted.nt gonna elaborate here. zzZ will update again soon.. tt concludes my **my life story.. see ya.. for now.
Oh well, i guess i will continue to update my life on this place=) for my personal reference haha.
___________________________________________________________________
In case someone else other than myself is reading my blog, this portion is for u=)
well im back to writing blog due to several reasons, namely
- im really bored
- happened to stop by my own blog recently, i read through my previous posts and i was like "Oh, so i was like that?!" haha.. brings back alot of my memories and my emotions then.
- felt that my english standard is starting to go dOWN doWN doWN! & my frens told me that writing blogs will probably improve my english. so..
Thats abt it!
____________________________________________________________________
ok ok ok lONG post again since i didn update for like err...1 year? oh slightly less than that. haha
where shall i start.. oh well i will jus continue from my previous entry..
May 2009
what was i doing then.? lOL i forgot=) basically from May09 till Oct09.. im still an instructor in the "Land where soldiers are born". so nth much to update abt.. haha was rather demanding and strict to those bunch people and wasnt very well-liked by every1.. but, im jus doing my job, and i really wanted to do it well.
plz do not misunderstand, im VERY well-liked by my fellow instructors, haha, really had loads of fun together with them. aww.
so u shld be able to guess who dislikes me? The top & bottom =) if u get wad i mean.
Blah forget it.. shall not go into details abt tt cuz its classified + its very long if u wan mi to elaborate further.
okok so from oct 09 onwards, i was gg on off & leave + MC(for wisdom tooth extraction).. heehee so for the whole of Oct, im basically slacking at home or out wif frens having fun WHILE still drawing my salary =) life was realli heavenly then.
wOoo 11 11 09 haha a day that i was SUPER looking forward to! haha its *** day. before that day we(my fellow instructors from my batch) were kinda like a semi celebrity among my junior instructors.. cuz the juniors will always "wah lau eh.. *** liao lah hor.. sian sia i 1 more year" den my reply will always be "aiya i still long la.. still long. dun say *** first"
UNtil that day itself.. i was sleeping in my office until i awakened by a few bunch of ppl marching and singing loudly=.= was rather pissed when i opened my eyes and look at my watch.. =.=5:50. in the morning. oh 5:50 was considered very early for me as i just came back from my off & leaves. so for the past month ive been waking up in the afternoon.. so.. for tt day itself when i woke up at 5:50am, i was rather not used to it.
but, 1 thing went to my mind tt time, "eh? isnt today my...my *** day?!" and i literally smiled to myself =) oh im smilling to my monitor as i was typing as well. haha so i got up, brushed my teeth, walked around, stoned, and packed my bag & braced myself to leave this place for good. alone in the office, i began to feel some emotions stirring inside me, this place that i hate so much, i actually developed a sense of belonging for it after 1 year in there. its actually a mix feeling joy & sadness for me. as in yea, for me. to me, it kinda feels the same as compared to my previous graduation ceremonies in schools. but b4 tt, i told myself tt i hate this god-forsaken place.. this place where my freedom is bound, this place where.. i had cursed so many times.. but at the point of time when i really have to leave, a weak voice in my heart is whispering to me, "im gona miss this place, this is the last time"...
no matter wad, i gotta go means, i gotta go. i picked up my bag and made my way out. i saw my fren & he said "wah *** liao hor u" , surprisingly, my reply was the same as before! "aiya i still long la.. still long la.." rite after i said tt phrase, i realized its.. now. now im gonna ***.. its no long still long anymore.. haha aw so tts abt it. i got back a card that SO many guys are talking abt. the pink thingy =)
on my way out, i didn realli feel much.. i wasnt as happy as i thought i would be. and i wasnt that emotional as tt morning. i didn feel anything. just "oh im going home".
aww aww aww what a long pOSt alrdy..=.= im just done wif my army life journey. but wow. its alrdy like.. errr 825words?! aww.. gotta sum up and just end this post first.
aww ive gotta say, ive changed. the way i view things changed drastically. aiyo, its hard to explain it here. nbdy will realli believe it anw. but seriously, ive changed. i noe it myself=) so yup the 1 yr 10mths not wasted.nt gonna elaborate here. zzZ will update again soon.. tt concludes my **my life story.. see ya.. for now.
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