hmmm. its jan 26, 2011, 6:40 am now. okay a rather saddening moment for me. argh the story goes like this. =)
err, kinda kena "nominated" ( a better word would be sabo-ed) to be the nxt organizer of the OG outing. its nt the first time im organizing an outing and if it is wif my og, i guess it wld be ez, as in easier? cuz guys are rather reluctant to do some activities w/o girls. yup, so i went ahead and created the event page on Fb~! haha after a few days, onli 3 ppl responded? so i sent a msg to the rest and reminded them to respond. LOL. then to my SURPRISE, ( unpleasant) ok will move straight to the final statistics, 9 not attending, 4 awaiting, 2 mayb 6 attending. LIKE. YEA. u noe the 3 words to use, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ !?! gG! lol i didn noe my popularity was, THIS LOW U NOE? lol. den i start to think back, err i think i can recall a couple of ppl who avoids mi ( if im nt wrong) and plus this, omg?! LOl the lovable and popular CY fell! AM I LIKE HATED NOW?! hahahaha gosh, so i start to think back....dun remb doing much evil stuff.. a lil here and there but arghhh.. oh well. this sux. and i hope im wrong this time around. haiz............
haha i admit, the event was rather sloppily planned and ive alrdy made adjustments! so ok. hope things get better. arghh. damn this shit~! jus when i thought my life is gonna get better cuz i won $$ at Mahjong. lOL
uh and i used to be hearing so much of i haf good popularity and im popular among my frens, and now, somehow, some1 commented that im not popular at all, instead, my popularity is, POOR!?
( REN YUAN BU HAO?!) GG SIA!
HEY CHAOYI OF THE FUTURE, TELL ME IM WRONG WHEN U READ THIS NXT TIME OK? PLEASE?! AND REMB TO POINT TT GUY A MIDDLE FINGER IF U REALISE TT HE IS TALKING BULLSHIT OK?!
tts abt all nth much happenings bye.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
yo wassup.
Hi. im back. with a lighter spirit this time around.
haha was in a nt so good mood these few days cuz of the lack of vitamin frens. well well, guess they are all bz i suppose. looking at all of their fb updates, kinda jealous tt they are having a whale of a time while im still trapped in this boring and monotonous black and white world of my own. welll well, things will get better i suppose. soon? No matter. jus one of the blue moon nights when i cant sleep and got loads of things running through my mind. No matter, i suppose all of them got straightened out after all. haha kinda love my optimism now lol
well wads happened these few days, uh stayed home and tried to study but i didn realli manage to put much things into my mind. Zzzz wads more, cant slp for no bloody reason. strangely, wanted to update many things previously but now i 4got wad i wanted to type so, hmm ill jus randomly crap my way thru den. living kind of like a secluded life where im jus with me, myself and chaoyi. lOL i hope i will nt become mentally unstable after some time.. =/ argh. wadever, if i happen to become mentally unstable, this sentence is for me to wake up my bloody idea and snap back to normal "CHAOYI WAKE THE SHIT UP MAN! U ARE NT ALONE! GO BLOODY FIND UR FREN TO CHAT AND STAY NORMAL CAN?!"
=.= siann crapping my way through. OH I rembed wad i wanna say, k so its like a couple of my frens are moving on with their lives quite well and i think they are kinda like getting their love life balanced out soon. hmm makes me wonder, wad the hell was i doing? wads my bloody problem.?! in fact, i thought they had problems.. but i guess it turned out tt im most likely be the only 1 with a hell lot of problems, cuz yea, im far frm a r/s. ZZZ gg sia. i hope my frens wun think tt im abnormal=.=
yes. i noe its strange, but i can jus say, im unlucky! i havent been able to meet any1 i like or any1 who showed any slight possibility of liking me ok?! ZZzz im jus nt good enuf yet.! umm so yes, i will try my ultima best to buck up. be more frenly! be more approachable=.= ok yes yes. i will drop tt "im gd looking/ cute or wadever bhb joke" guess its jus nt suitable for me=/ and i will cont to act like a clown ok? prolly things might work out better that way.
a clown will stay as a clown, no matter how he tries to dress up or act gentlemanly, he will nv bcome a prince charming. he will jus look more like a failed clown.
-chaoyi
haha wise words to serve as a reminder to myself=.= haiz.. ok! a new start! a positive mindset to go! tts it for now~
haha was in a nt so good mood these few days cuz of the lack of vitamin frens. well well, guess they are all bz i suppose. looking at all of their fb updates, kinda jealous tt they are having a whale of a time while im still trapped in this boring and monotonous black and white world of my own. welll well, things will get better i suppose. soon? No matter. jus one of the blue moon nights when i cant sleep and got loads of things running through my mind. No matter, i suppose all of them got straightened out after all. haha kinda love my optimism now lol
well wads happened these few days, uh stayed home and tried to study but i didn realli manage to put much things into my mind. Zzzz wads more, cant slp for no bloody reason. strangely, wanted to update many things previously but now i 4got wad i wanted to type so, hmm ill jus randomly crap my way thru den. living kind of like a secluded life where im jus with me, myself and chaoyi. lOL i hope i will nt become mentally unstable after some time.. =/ argh. wadever, if i happen to become mentally unstable, this sentence is for me to wake up my bloody idea and snap back to normal "CHAOYI WAKE THE SHIT UP MAN! U ARE NT ALONE! GO BLOODY FIND UR FREN TO CHAT AND STAY NORMAL CAN?!"
=.= siann crapping my way through. OH I rembed wad i wanna say, k so its like a couple of my frens are moving on with their lives quite well and i think they are kinda like getting their love life balanced out soon. hmm makes me wonder, wad the hell was i doing? wads my bloody problem.?! in fact, i thought they had problems.. but i guess it turned out tt im most likely be the only 1 with a hell lot of problems, cuz yea, im far frm a r/s. ZZZ gg sia. i hope my frens wun think tt im abnormal=.=
yes. i noe its strange, but i can jus say, im unlucky! i havent been able to meet any1 i like or any1 who showed any slight possibility of liking me ok?! ZZzz im jus nt good enuf yet.! umm so yes, i will try my ultima best to buck up. be more frenly! be more approachable=.= ok yes yes. i will drop tt "im gd looking/ cute or wadever bhb joke" guess its jus nt suitable for me=/ and i will cont to act like a clown ok? prolly things might work out better that way.
a clown will stay as a clown, no matter how he tries to dress up or act gentlemanly, he will nv bcome a prince charming. he will jus look more like a failed clown.
-chaoyi
haha wise words to serve as a reminder to myself=.= haiz.. ok! a new start! a positive mindset to go! tts it for now~
Sunday, January 16, 2011
hahaha emo emo.
yea chaoyi. im talking to u onli when im feeling unhappy. when i am happy, i wldn be writing to u. haha!
hmm where do i start, okok. i shall talk abt the time capsule which i took a few days back. due to unexpected circumstances, i somehow decided to go back to the cold storage ffdc for a little walk due to my dear ex-colleague( cuz he suddenly felt like gg back). i tot to myself, "hmm nt a bad idea, nth to do anyway" even tho i felt quite ridiculous as ive only worked there for like, 3 mths? and the bonds i had dere aint realli deep. oh well, might as well. haha
YUP. so i went back dere, seeing how some things changed and somethings that nv changed.its jus like so recent when i was still working there. the trip back was the key to a locked chamber of memories which i misplaced. memories jus keep flashing back and i remembered so many things which happened previously. ahh fond memories, events which were filled with joy and laughter. much hardwork and boredom. my brain is starting to fail me after all, even with all the talk abt immortality. LOL! yea i guess as more memories start filling up my mind, older, non-impt info jus get deleted or chucked away in dark corners and locked up. haf to admit, im realli getting old.
cant realli bear to leave after stepping in there, unexpectedly. hanged ard till they started chasing me away. gosh. wad happened to me. tts so not me! oh well, kinda happy tt my soul actually travelled thru time to a 10over mths back and yea! nt tt bad of experience=)
uhh den i went back to PIONEER JUNIOR COLLEGE on friday. wad the hell rite? yea. u were this crazy. argh another place full of fond memories, full of things which i like. ULTIMATE JOY, LAUGHTER AND HAPPINESS. rejection and disappointment... to a small extent. arhh how long has it been...3 full years. w/o any expectation of any1 remembering me, i went back, with the sole intent of feeding my soul wif fond memories wif my ex-classmates. those were the days, which i claimed to be my happiest days, the point of my life wher i grew up alot. the days, wher i met impt frens. gah! the tot of it jus spurns my hot blood.
ah as i was saying, visited.. nono disturbed some juniors in their normal routine life. haha kinda strange to see some1 who graduated for more than 3 yrs still coming back. i placed myself in their shoes as well. i wldn welcome them. AT ALL. haha some teachers who taught me still remb me. surprised and glad! tts when my teacher told me abt a couple of my pranks and retarded stuff i did when i was younger, haha! i dont remb doing them but, u wldn noe how it feels to hear abt how other ppl talk abt urself as tho she is nt talking abt u. cuz u dun remb doing them after all ( if u get wad i mean chaoyi.) well well love pjc to the ultima max.srsly.
probably becuz im lonely and very empty at this point of time. tts y im starting to find back the memories of myself when i wasnt this lonely, this empty. trying to feel up the void inside u see. argh! dont think u got it but. ohwell. jus remb this, chaoyi, u are bloody lonely and empty at this point of time! wondering which point? sep2010 - jan2011. and its still going on. haha hope u are much better at the time u are reading this. emptiness and loneliness, quoted frm a strange person who somehow put feelings into these 2 words. ya. chaoyi, u were a loser. i am a loser. BUT I WILL WIN. SOON.
okok tts abt all for now. craves for love to come soon. love. love love. i wish i noe wad it is. =/ used to believe tt i am nt ignorant when it comes to love. well well i guess i really am ignorant.GRRR. NO MATTER, keep fighting! dont gif up! the moment u gif up on urself, the whole world gives up on you! FIGHTER GO!
hmm where do i start, okok. i shall talk abt the time capsule which i took a few days back. due to unexpected circumstances, i somehow decided to go back to the cold storage ffdc for a little walk due to my dear ex-colleague( cuz he suddenly felt like gg back). i tot to myself, "hmm nt a bad idea, nth to do anyway" even tho i felt quite ridiculous as ive only worked there for like, 3 mths? and the bonds i had dere aint realli deep. oh well, might as well. haha
YUP. so i went back dere, seeing how some things changed and somethings that nv changed.its jus like so recent when i was still working there. the trip back was the key to a locked chamber of memories which i misplaced. memories jus keep flashing back and i remembered so many things which happened previously. ahh fond memories, events which were filled with joy and laughter. much hardwork and boredom. my brain is starting to fail me after all, even with all the talk abt immortality. LOL! yea i guess as more memories start filling up my mind, older, non-impt info jus get deleted or chucked away in dark corners and locked up. haf to admit, im realli getting old.
cant realli bear to leave after stepping in there, unexpectedly. hanged ard till they started chasing me away. gosh. wad happened to me. tts so not me! oh well, kinda happy tt my soul actually travelled thru time to a 10over mths back and yea! nt tt bad of experience=)
uhh den i went back to PIONEER JUNIOR COLLEGE on friday. wad the hell rite? yea. u were this crazy. argh another place full of fond memories, full of things which i like. ULTIMATE JOY, LAUGHTER AND HAPPINESS. rejection and disappointment... to a small extent. arhh how long has it been...3 full years. w/o any expectation of any1 remembering me, i went back, with the sole intent of feeding my soul wif fond memories wif my ex-classmates. those were the days, which i claimed to be my happiest days, the point of my life wher i grew up alot. the days, wher i met impt frens. gah! the tot of it jus spurns my hot blood.
ah as i was saying, visited.. nono disturbed some juniors in their normal routine life. haha kinda strange to see some1 who graduated for more than 3 yrs still coming back. i placed myself in their shoes as well. i wldn welcome them. AT ALL. haha some teachers who taught me still remb me. surprised and glad! tts when my teacher told me abt a couple of my pranks and retarded stuff i did when i was younger, haha! i dont remb doing them but, u wldn noe how it feels to hear abt how other ppl talk abt urself as tho she is nt talking abt u. cuz u dun remb doing them after all ( if u get wad i mean chaoyi.) well well love pjc to the ultima max.srsly.
probably becuz im lonely and very empty at this point of time. tts y im starting to find back the memories of myself when i wasnt this lonely, this empty. trying to feel up the void inside u see. argh! dont think u got it but. ohwell. jus remb this, chaoyi, u are bloody lonely and empty at this point of time! wondering which point? sep2010 - jan2011. and its still going on. haha hope u are much better at the time u are reading this. emptiness and loneliness, quoted frm a strange person who somehow put feelings into these 2 words. ya. chaoyi, u were a loser. i am a loser. BUT I WILL WIN. SOON.
okok tts abt all for now. craves for love to come soon. love. love love. i wish i noe wad it is. =/ used to believe tt i am nt ignorant when it comes to love. well well i guess i really am ignorant.GRRR. NO MATTER, keep fighting! dont gif up! the moment u gif up on urself, the whole world gives up on you! FIGHTER GO!
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