Something.

I'm jus bored. I jus don't quite like being tied down to smth, and yea I need to study. Sigh.

Some asshole trying her best to protect herself, bothering everyone else jus bcuz someone is trying to make herself worse off. It's kinda saddening but, all in all, u only needa blame urself. Cuz u suck. And nope there's no way u will be able to improve urself. U jus don't haf wad it takes so tts it. I don't blame u.
If u feel tt ure feeling rly shitty and ure the main character of a tragedy, think again. Other ppl had it worse. Wad ure experiencing now is jus the results of ur past actions.
It rly bothered me when u jus didn wanna let her go. Like rly jus let. Her. Fking. Off. Stop bothering her. Wads wrong wif u seriously.

No. No.. I shldnt be bothered abt these anymore. I shld... Study.. Study. Cy go study. All these don't matter anymore.
But why the fk do u haf to go and see him so badly. Fk it. Fk. Ok wait I shld study. Yea bye.

Signing off. In anger.

Update: after slping:
I guess much as i said tt it shldnt matter anymore, i still feel smth inside. There's still smth there. Hahaha. I hate myself for being like this, I hate myself fr never being able to let go cooly. Y do I still care, perhaps ure feeling the same horrible feeling now, but ure weird. Ur taste is weird, it cldve been solved easily and u wldve achieve happiness long ago but I guess u chose the harder one, jus like wad I did. And now probably, we're both wrecked up inside. This.. is kinda dumb but ok move on pls. Or... Come here :|

Ok ok nw I'm able to think more properly after a nap and after all... It's night time so, I guess tts where the other side of me comes out.

Heart and body

Now tt I think abt it; I'm pretty much left with only my body. I'm doing Wadever I wan and not rly thinking abt anything. I guess tts wad it meant. I no longer haf a heart, and yea I rmb where I left it.'

So anw, it sounds like tt place is gonna go soon, like real soon. Which.. Kinda makes me feel down abit since i haf after all, been there for quite a while. Making latte art for other ppl to admire was actually kinda fun but, I think I might've alr missed the most impt point,  which is the taste of the coffee itself. I actually, in my heart demanded the person to actually thank me and appreciate the work of art but well, I simply can't accept tt not everyone cares abt how it looks, but yea, more of wads in it.

Arh. Well I guess tts tt, I've actually tot of continuing to work for a bit more, in a different environment, but well it's gonna be the same shit, prolly worse shit, so yea I must be determined this time ard. Freedom.. Awaits.

Felt kinda down earlier cuz of the fact tt I haven't studied... Ok yea and more of like thinking why do I haf to keep covering up for other ppl's mistake at work, again and again and again. This is rly a thankless excess chore and it sucks a lot. I wonder if I created problem for other ppl as well but hmm. Perhaps but tt feeling rly sux. Like doing extra things jus to mKe up for other ppl's mistakes AND tt person is jus leaving nonchalantly. -_- fk this, srsly. I suppose it's gona be the same in the real working world, I will Hafta face these kind of shit too, but this time it's different cuz i can't jus say, "Ok I quit u fkers"

Phew I jus gotta let it out somewher. I'm pretty sick of all these. I needa think abt smth else perhaps... Like.. Study study.


Oh I went for my fren's wedding ytd and it was kinda, hyper boring. lol. Why issit tt weddings are such boring things. Hmm makes me wonder. Wad kind of wedding shld I haf. Is it gonna be very far away in the future, how's my bride gonna be like and and mayb if its gonna happen at all. Blehhhh tts the kind of feelings tt I always haf when I attend my fren's wedddings.
Zzz perhaps I'm jus at tt age, perhaps I shld get married as well-_-

Im so sorry.

I'm so sry. I almost forgot, while drowning myself in other things, while thinking tt it's more worthwhile to spend time wif ppl who loved me instead of lowering myself to make u happier. I tot I can forget about wad caused me the pain.

It felt rly good to feel the love tt other ppl showed, but I guess it can never compare to feeling the reciprocated love frm the one u gave up so much for.

so tonight, I'm going to be crooked. And I will rmb tt I loved u. For tonight.
I wonder wad I'll become tml. But oh well



, tonight I return to be that fool, who's willing to gif up everything for ur happiness.

Tired.

So I lied to myself. I said I needed control, I didn. I said I wanted to study, I didn. Argh. Get up cy get up.

Rly tired these days since I Somehw needed to work darn long hours. Lol. Tt sucked and well as long as it lasts... I shall endure thru it. And make time to study. For now I'm jus yea.. Tired
Ok so another fren is getting married,"like WoOot?!" K yea well, perhaps I'm jus at the age lol, bleh I need.. Motivation and perhaps determination. Yea

Fk me. Go fking study tml pls thanks.

So many ppl are dying everyday but y not u, u fking eyesore. 

Don't love me.

Hahaha. Mayb I'm jus assuming it but I don't care. Just don't. Ok? Haha it's hard enuf on my side and yea, if u don't, den I think I can do it too. So yea lets do it like this, I'll try hard, I'll try.

Sarang hajimal, jebal.

Ok so I got by these 2 days of cny pretty peacefully, hahah excluding the over-eating and brushing off the stupid qn "eh? Nv go visit ah" ok I do ask it to other ppl as well cuz I didn think anyone wld be like me. And yea, I didn visit. Cuz I don't haf like relatives for me to do so.? Perhaps I do haf but jus tt my parents aren't close enuf wif em to go visit them. Ok to be more precise, the other side is like my mum will go visit but... I simply dread the idea of going ALLL the way down to Malaysia and meet wif a bunch of ppl who I didn even see for the whole year and I haf to explain wad I'm doing now to a bunch of em who don't uds and are simply asking jus for the Sake of asking. Was I too long winded. Well, I suppose my predecessor did a poor job in terms of family bonding so ya, to my dear brothers... Tho u ppl are freaking annoying and pricky assholes( like me) let's bond well ok .?!? And not let this continue on to our nxt generation. Shld be gg my fren's houses nxt week but ya, see how lo.
Yea I loved cny despite how it's like for me.

Those lingering thoughts lol... Well I'm still here. Wher haf u been tho.

Okkkkkkk
Happy new year.
To myself, and to anyone.
Be a better person after this long weekend yeah.?
Ok. Hahaa