yes. i stopped at the part when i overcame another milestone in my life. but that just brought me back to reality. The real world. the me who shouts @ ppl, who scolds ppl for leisure and command ppl does not exists. yes. the dream is over, i awakened & found myself lying on the same bed as 2 yrs ago. the problem which i tried to ignore in my dreams resurfaced & started to haunt me again. yes =) Uni.
im lost. previously, i would just ignore this topic & jus keep in mind that its not happening yet... when the time comes, the problem will be solved automatically. escape, definitely.. escaping from the harsh truth.. LOL =x
well well, short term goals first! found a job at Cold Storage as an ADMIN ASSISTANT / ORDER COORDINATOR.. take note, thx. not packer, not cashier, not storeman & not a deliveryman! =.= cuz previously whenever ppl ask me "hey where are u working at?", i will reply "cold storage"and immediately, they will give me a look of disdain and i noe wads in their minds.
"Must be some cashier or wadever lowly paid part time job". lol OHHHhhHH Wwelll.
mm drowned myself with work almost everyday frm the nov till christmas. Was reaally busy, but somehoW i survived. mm yea met frens to go out once in a while but somehow, i feel that the magic is no longer there =/ whenever i hang out with frens... i didn really feel tt much happiness, i laughed alot less than b4. wonder why. izzit bcoz i changed? or izzit my frens grew up too much, too fast for me to catch up with.? i dont noe. i do miss the times, when i can laugh with them till my stomach cramps. those were the days..
well well.. new yr flew past, den comes chinese new yr, an annual event when i will stay home and slack while my frens were visiting their relatives. Occassionally, i do get jealous when ppl were discussing abt how they hang out with their cousins & how much fun they got. while for me, that topic seems so foreign to me. ( since my cousins are in a foreign land ) =/ OH WELL. tts life.
hoo hoo was suPer looking forward to leaving my workplace as its really boring towards the end when we do not get as much work as compared to before. learnt alot of things there, i THOUGHT i grasped many of the relavant social skills & business skills + work experience. felt great as i get to meet loads of ppl frm the real world =) some in a more dire situation as compared to me, financially. heehee.. but nonetheless these little pride i finally gained were soon CRUSHED TOTALLY when i met my jc frens..
yes. i tot i grew quite abit after sometime back to the real corporate world. i was happy when i met my jc frens after sometime, since ive always been bz working working working.. living in my own world. lol. funny thing is, i realized, what i learnt recently, my new gained knowledge which i THOUGHT was so powerful, so new, so fresh, is nth more than superficial information. wow. lol my heart sank.. totally.
hohoho.. so my contract ends @ feb 27. was super happy that im leaving that place cuz i felt real bored there. yea. i THOUGHT with my work experience, i can find a job easily in a very shoRT time frame.
aww not to mention, the ghost UNI came back to haunt mi everyday, its not that i do not want to solve the problem.. the fact is that, i cant solve the problem! i kept on escaping from it nt bcuz im lazy, its bcuz, i cant face the fact! well well, im totally, really lost now. i have my directions, but i cant move forward.
well well. lost as usual, im unemployed for 2 full weeks now. my tiny bit of confidence which i build up. is nth more than a tiny flicker now.
arghh.. gonna get back on my feet. i must push on. THE HUNT CONTINUES. tomorrow.
I MUST NOT FALL!
mm met u today. lol. it was a un"expected" encounter. haha, why? thats bcoz i didn wanted to go there at all initially, some incidents happened & thus i decided to go. but, my weak & dumb mind secretly held on a small ray of hope that i will meet u. & wow. whenever i see u, i become weak & lousy @ expressing myself, my confidence level is at 0. i noe i did poorly everytime im wif u but. oh well im happy deep inside, plainly due to the fact that, i saw u.
i thot time heals all wounds, time will make mi forget.. obviously, i havent. i duno y im so weak.=.= so lame=.= so.. loser. but. well well.i noe my place.
probably jus due to the fact that i havent find any1 else who will make mi feel this way.
im a loser. i suck big time =.=
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