Harrow. at the age of 35 (soon), i am shooting another entry into the void hoping that humanity from the beyond can use this as a study to understand how humans felt.
While i want to present myself as a different person as the one who posted back in 2023, nth much changed. Quoting the below:
"im still lonely, im still bored, im still human, i am still me.
What changed?"
I am still lonely, bored and human, i want to say that things changed for me. the experiences i'd had made me feel different ( citing them MASTERS & Vietnam ~ BKK coming soon). Pretty certain tt while some parts of me is different, other parts are still the same.
whats new today ? i just came out of another interview feeling inadequate. While part of it can be attributed to my lack of preparation, i believe a large part came from my general lack of self-improvement and follow through.
its my 35th birthday tomorrow, things are supposed to change with the anticipation of my own property & a change in job. but i dont feel ready, i dont feel confident.
to be honest, i have felt.... inadequate and incapable after i left OCBC. different parts of me is debating whether the departure was strategic.
1. If i have stayed, i may have been promoted after suffering thru the familiar torture.; or
2. i needed this feeling of inadequacy to comprehend how inexperienced I am (or the fact that i became inadequate because i left).
I dont know for now but, i do hope that i can be better soon. in a better position, in a more satisfied position.
till then.
