can i ....?

felt like bloggin and not getting into last min cramping mode yet. so ytd's paper was kinda, better than i expected. didn expect myself to be able to sit for the whole 3hrs tho.

even as i promised myself tt, i will remove all those emotions, i... still lol.. yea but oh wells. poor response and cold rejection i guess.? la. wads new. hahah wasnt expectin much anw.

so here i am, lazing as per normal. constantly with the thought of... if only i had a little more time. but hey, a few days ago i was like "gahh ill do it tml" sighh. tt paradox.. arhh.

so it seems.. as smth drags on for a tat too long, at some point of time, one wld simply wish for the end to come, in contrast to the original mindset of achieving the best results. for this exam and i guess for every other matter as well. so. i.. just wan all these to enddd as welll =|

aint looking forward to the trip. am looking forward to sleep.. sighh k lets go.....

The Longest days.

ive been really. screwed up. sleeping lazing, slacking.
accidentally, i..am thinking of u. i guess its just a temporal phenomenal. im gonna be okay.
mayb i lied when i said i could erase u totally but..... yea its gonna be gone, one day. after all, im jus being retarded as usual

anyways.. must perservere and must study much later!. grr fight on !


andd... now... im mi551n9 you like crazy. =_= i guess its prolly due to erm. the lack of sleep or the boredom, or the lack of fighting spirit. bleh. but my ego and my sanity is keeping all of my useless feelings in check. saw smth intreresting tho, something which had been shared by millions of ppl alrdy but oh well. here goes:

"The Reality of fear

you are not afraid to love
you are jus afraid of not being loved back

you are not afraid to let go.
you are jus afraid to accept the reality that she is gone

you are not afraid to try again
you are jus afraid of getting hurt for the same reason"

well i guess tts kinda like erm true and quite layman but yea im accepting that. feels tt it applies. ill jus add another point to it?

'you are not afraid of trying harder
you are jus afriad to accept the reality that u cant get it no matter what you do.'

arghh.. still.. fighting... still...resisting. =.= i shall get to sleep.

Why you hatin.

day... wadever i lost count. real real real slack =.= but argh lets hope i can do more later.

as the end comes closer, the urge to work hard dies off. drastically. i think i shld be able to.. argh LETS move forward..!

ah wells i realized tt im able to remove my feelings i supposed. not sure of why but i guess it's prolly because I could sense tt there aren't any feelings coming frm u. Hmm guess it cuts both ways. and if u want a game, i will bring it to you.

feelings.

heh so im left with 2 papers. the main ones. and im at day 2, did nth constructive till date.screw tt and my mind was set into a whirlpool a moment ago, in fact hmm on and off since ytd? lol i hate myself. my brain my heart my feelings, its mine, and mine alone. i didn mean to give it to anyone yet, and not to u. uhhh.. with this, i hope it will serve as a reminder, a reminder that my feelings, my humane side caused me to do so badly last year AND this year. PLEASE WAKE UP.. NO i meant, please..cy... pls.. remove all those unnecessary emotions and stay focused, the end is near, and the fruiit is in sight.

wake up. i need you. the evil, heartless me.