Being jobless for so long felt so bad, u noe, being a liability and all. Not being able to go out wif ppl Cuz of financial constraints, staying home for the whole day for God knows what reason. I hope it ends soon, while at the same time Im q afraid abt the uncertainty ahead.
Well I've always had a thing for the rain, memories.? Mayb. But whenever there is a storm outside, I wld stare into it and jus start thinking abt the past, not RLY abt u noe, events tt happened in the rain previously but, jus whatever tt affects me the most.?
The rain is a trigger to the painful/most significant memories in my mind. Lol I wonder if I made it sound understandable but okay.
I've tot of hw my life wld be if I didn make tt "wrong" decision then. It seems tt, Mayb, just Mayb, even if I had stucked myself to U, I wld most prolly not be very happy nonetheless. Well humans aren't animals tt can be satisfied easily. I wld probably had a lot of fun wif u and neglected the cfa, I cld still be working in spinelli, if not I wldve jus randomly accepted any job tt came. instead of wad I'm doing now (which is erms, supposingly searching for the correct job tt I wanted)
And then I'll still feel fked up tt I'm stucked wif someone like u. And then The same thing will happen again lol. Well. We were meant to break after all. I wld only cherish u if I didn had u, and u aren't the kind who will slowly stand there and wait for me to come back. Perhaps tts a inevitable fate. So, I had to accept this.
Nonetheless abt another person, lol we haf on one side someone who wanted to care abt u, and u're jus going ard and getting ur heart break. Ain't it weird? Human tt is. Like, u're most likely attracted to things tt are not attracted to u lol.and thus we have so many unhappy human running ard.
Well well tt irony, tt rain, tt season of festive is coming again. And to me, it's jus an awful scorn.
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