putting in hard work and not recognised. Finding out my own flaws. I don't Noe anymore, I work hard, I worked smart, but it doesn't seem to be enuf.
then I remembered the reason why I had always not gave my best in the things I do previously, because hard work doesn't really pay. and given for my case, after working hard, giving my all, I wld only get disappointment in return, well... if only disappointment was the only thing I got back. nope. ive got so much more, losing my confidence, losing my temper, losing my happiness, my hope for the future.
I can pick up and go, or choose to stay and fight. There are no correct answers or right choices, whatever I choose wld just not work out anw.
ahhh.. I do not want to go back into that world, tt world whereby I keep fighting for smth with no end in sight, with no rewards, with no ending.
Sunday, March 27, 2016
Monday, March 14, 2016
moved on.
so its 6:05 am and I'm kinda tired but not sleepy. must be due to the caffeine overdose from starbucks and all.
everyone moved on, even I did. but I guess moving on doesn't mean you forget abt all the fond memories before, its accepting tt those times will not return. Perhaps also with a tiny bit of hoping you could somehow get in touch again but of cuz, no actions will be done. cuz they've moved on, and their definition should be different from mine.
so... work. am I good at it? no I don't think so. am I better than them? perhaps not. I don't know. I'm slowly consumed by my ego again and I'm telling myself tt I'm so damn good and I can judge ppl. no man. you aint half as good as u think u are.
so yea wake up dude. ure still tt same old shithead as u always were.
everyone moved on, even I did. but I guess moving on doesn't mean you forget abt all the fond memories before, its accepting tt those times will not return. Perhaps also with a tiny bit of hoping you could somehow get in touch again but of cuz, no actions will be done. cuz they've moved on, and their definition should be different from mine.
so... work. am I good at it? no I don't think so. am I better than them? perhaps not. I don't know. I'm slowly consumed by my ego again and I'm telling myself tt I'm so damn good and I can judge ppl. no man. you aint half as good as u think u are.
so yea wake up dude. ure still tt same old shithead as u always were.
Thursday, March 03, 2016
Cruel.
Day in and out, I've always tried my best to complete whatever task tt had been given to me. I do not know if I am appreciated but at least, I am able to answer to myself, tt I rly tried, hard.
Disappointment of not getting the results tt I'd desired, I do not know know why am I still so affected by it. Hasn't this happened so many times? Haven't I gotten used to it.? Why can't I jus face it with a smile and let it Breeze through.?
Isn't this world just unbearably cruel.
I must try to smile even in times of hardship. I will smile to failure, to ppl I do not like, to things that I'm not happy with, because a smile, could be the most disguise tt one can don
Disappointment of not getting the results tt I'd desired, I do not know know why am I still so affected by it. Hasn't this happened so many times? Haven't I gotten used to it.? Why can't I jus face it with a smile and let it Breeze through.?
Isn't this world just unbearably cruel.
I must try to smile even in times of hardship. I will smile to failure, to ppl I do not like, to things that I'm not happy with, because a smile, could be the most disguise tt one can don
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