Humanoid

so I'd been busy for so Long and the end is not in sight.

I have got so much hatred in me with no one to share with. Ppl whom I tot are my frens aren’t actually tt trustworthy either.

I have to keep it to myself, I Haf to take it on my own.

I do not blame u or u Nor u. Cuz u are jus a minor gear in this huge ass world. I cannot blame myself as I rly did try to be my best.

The world is as screwed up as it always had been n I tot I at least have to
the power to at least make mine better.


I Guess I am too. An entity so small tt can’t change the state of this disgusting worlds

Yume ga nai.

kyo wa ore no oh-tanjobi desu ne, danga, ore ga ureshii ja nai da.

Well, uneventfully, I went back to office to do "work" which at the end of the day I realized that it all didn mean much anw. so what if I managed to make all those small little things perfect.

there are greater things that are expected of me.

the little imperfect things that minor human does cant affect me at the very least.

well, when it comes to work, I can conclude tt I'm not longer normal human level but so what abt it. no one will able to appreciate + acknowledge how strong I am as a human, for they all have a gauge on my limits (as a feeble human as they are) for me.

What can I do, I can only live and suck whatever shit they have for me now. when I have the opportunity, of course I will destroy all tt those feeble human think they know and I will rise above them.

tho pure capabilities aint all tt matters, ill prolly get sick of getting judged by lesser human beings sooner or later.

ill rise, one way or the other.

if this minor human race can only see my flaws, then I shall explore new areas and move out of these lowly filthes.

Clump of lies

living in a clump of lies, of falsehoods, of denials and of pride.

For pride, for hiding my heart, my weakness. I lied abt being happy, satisfied and probably also abt me being strong.

those concerned looks, concerned questions are nth much but looks of disdain and scorns to me. So I put on a false front to look ok, to sound like I'm fine with life right now. And I Guess tt im so Gd with lying to the point where even I myself am convinced.

Well well. Who wldnt want to be happy, or rather happier. jus stucked in the loop of lying to myself so tt I can lie to others n I Guess I can only be honest with myself in my most private moments.

For no one likes a liar n a weak person, the general populace wants a strong person tt they can rely on.  So tts wher I come in, in my Armour of lies n my shield of pride, together with my blade of sarcasm to fend off any hateful hypocrites.


The best liar fools himself first before fooling others, with his lie becoming his truth.

Not everyone gets it

Jus as I tot I mayb able to be slightly happier. Life jus Haf to throw a wrench into my face n tell me to wake up.

Haven't it always been like this. not everyone gets to be happy u know. I'm not supposed to b happy.

Divine judgement

not tt I'm rly into god or smth.

If this is my punishment, I'll accept it. But wher are my rewards? For being the best tt I can be for everyone around. For trying so hard, for being nice.

Perhaps it's alr given to me n I haven't seen it. But wad I did see n feel now is. Ahh. Life is so disgusting and I rly hate it.

So what if my all is not enough.

No one will care," hey he tried his best". These punishments tt I'm receiving now.... I'll take it up and learn? And/or react accordingly.

I'm sick of so many things.

I'm tired of you but I love u.

If I can talk to u freely, wad wld be the first thing I say. Ah. "Uve got poor taste and be prepared for ur retribution." Or did u alr got it.? Nah. Ur retribution is not as bad as mine is. I'm rly dying inside.

Poor me. Lol. TheCY? Get a grip.

To become a god.

It is through pain that we learn. Through hardship that we thrive.

I haven't gave up and I want to know u more. so much more.

a sneak peak into ur past make me want to give u a perfect future. I guess I reminded you of tt past. tt sad past. y didn I know this earlier.

I wldve been different.

I wan to change. I wan to be the one for you.

tell tt fker to stay away yea.

how does it feel

how does it feel to be tired but not able to sleep.

how does it feel to be angry but not able to scold anyone.

how does it feel to be alone in the dark

y am I the one being like this. hahahhahaha.

The holy ending?

This story is kinda disgusting. Very disturbing and fking ugly.

I rly hate this. Hate. It took me 2 years to recover, and when I'm finally putting in more effort, I am fked. Like srsly. Fk this shit.

Fk me fk the world. Fk everything

I'm already hurt Enuf. Pls stop hurting me. Dear god.

divine power

while everyone else may not know it, certain powers are actually given to others by other humans.
The power to give happiness, the power to breed hatred, the power to make ppl destroy one another.

Such powers can only be given to another individual by that individual itself

for I had been a divine, being unaffected by every other happenings in the world until I granted someone else with the power to destroy me.

How ironic.

for the brightest star to bestow upon the darkest rock the power to diminish my shine.

while I don't know if the ending of this story will happy, I only know that the brightest star had started diminishing at this moment and the strongest hero was granted a punishment and he is currently suffering like a mofo.

heh.

fk this shit like srsly

God

God.

I wonder which god u believe in. No matter. The god I'm referring to is another. 

It's a blessing and a curse to b loved by a god. For a god can bless u with infinite happiness, while at the same time bestow a punishment upon you tt is so great tt can destroy u in seconds.

I almost became the god. Until I fell in love accidentally. Love. Is a scary thing tt cld change me. Tt can make me forget all of the things tt I Haf to do and focus on things I want to do. 

And now tt I'm facing rejection symptoms.? I'm holding on to so much hate tt I can destroy the world with it. Yes with great love breeds great hatred. 

I rly hated this feeling. 

If I'm being punished, isn't it enough now.?