funny

funny how things can change, time has passed, and how some things remain the same. had intended to drag my ass out for no gd reason other than breathing in fresher(nt really) air and the same scenario had to happen again.

having the bus 67 moving off right in front of my eyes and after waiting and making the xtra effort to move on to another bus stop to get other bus services, the nxt bus 67 came. -_-

yup so here I am now. blending in to the crowd with my laptop and a cup of coffee doing nth much heh. um, yea I just wanted to relive those days wher I was a student. just chilling out and trying to study, but wait, Im still ard tt age yea? zzZZzz k fine. even saying tt I look tt age is kind of a stretch.

I sincerely hope that my positivity can last.
I will not feel unhappy for a while.
I will be happy and will be able to take on any challenge posed to me without any problems.
I will be able to smile to the ppl I do not like.

ahh I will be happy.

Trip.

I need to calm down, I needa chill out.

and so I happened to join some ppl for a trip. I would say I'm rly srsly not a traveling type of person, especially with ppl I'm nt rly close with.

well. I wldnt say tt I'm totally unhappy abt the whole experience while being rly thankful for being invited, but I'm not rly enjoying anw.
but ok rly, its rly a pretty gd experience to remove myself frm the annoying lifestyle I'm having and trying smth new for once. so, yea ok, cool.


im back and enjoying my leave. and after a few days off frm my workplace, im sincerely feeling the positivity flowing back into me, ive always felt frustrated, drained, unhappy and also a myriad of other negative emotions. I have none of them now. perhaps it is them spreading the negativity to me unknowingly, perhaps it is me being in tt situation which makes me negative.

I.. am rly curious abt how positive I can be now and I even kinda like myself more these few days. hmm, but im pretty sure that this wld not last long. ill have to get back into tt dark hole again nxt week.

heh. we'll see how it goes then.


I think I kinda know what moving on means now. Even if I still think of you, even if I still want to be with you and the fond memories engraved in my mind will still bring a smile to my face.

I will not try to move towards you.
ive probably finally moved on.

expectations

i'd been feeling down for q a while. for? for wad. lol mainly when reality differs from my expectations. heh.

now tt I think back, wad is the reason for being angry, why do I have to be unhappy, I might have thought tt I'm someone great, I'm rly good at my job. in fact, I'm lacking in many ways, so why am I thinking tt I'm so perfect. heh.

so yea, y do I have to keep my expectations so high, well its not very high but perhaps just higher than wad I actually deserve.

I should just be grateful for wadever I have, whatever I'm given and make do with them. as long as I don't have to stay in the streets or have to stay hungry, I should be glad. I shld be happy.

I should stop expecting gd things to come my way.