watching running man is rly...helpful. duno if ive alrdy mentioned it b4, regardless of it being exam period, bored period, shitty times. watching it helps me forget abt the shits tt happened, tts abt to happen, and shits tts happening in progress. hahaha.
tt empty feeling, i havent felt it in q a while, cuz previously i had this mind set on doing smth and tt was my goal frm the moment i opened my eyes till the moment i lay down on my bed again.
and then suddenly this thought popped up, wad is waiting for me at the end. given my record, even if i do sacrifice my time, my life, my effort, things dont always turn out the way i wanted, in fact, it always turned out as the worst case scenerio.
tt really sucked big time. even if i do make it, who's gonna be there cheering for me, and if i dont, wld there be anything to pick me up and tell me "its ok, try harder and u will make it" well well. even tho ive lived through so many of these occasions whereby im jus fighting for myself, i still cant get used to it...without anyone to rly share my happiness and sorrow wif.
its just temporary. im just... u noe, ranting out somewhere cuz... i noe ppl wont like hearing other ppl ranting ranting and whining. they like to hear funny stuff, things tt make them feel better abt themselves, if nt they wont even listen. perhaps i am the same, but at least i will try to listen. so... pls listen to me too :|
oh well tt said, i dont quite like giving up without fighting, im stilll gonna go back and study. and even though i dont quite looking forward to my tomorrow, ill... get through it.. and i willl haf a day tt i can look forward to.. someday.
make it happen cy.
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