i tried.

i've tried hard enuf. i did wad i wanted to i guess. but perhaps it wasnt enuf, perhaps i shldn even do it at all and jus stay home and sucked on my thumb. i tried to haf fun outside and im able to forget abt stuff for like a few hours. perhaps tts good enuf.


i feel tt im back to normal. i feel tt i can go back to my previous lifestyle after wasting 2 weeks of precious studying time.


there are moments where i felt, fk it. i must go out and jus take anything given to me. stepping out is rly the hardest and most impt thing. but...den again i wld hear ppl telling me to dont take shits tts thrown to u. pick the right job. but its difficult since there's a specific job tt i wanna do, and the employers are also choosing me. its hard to find someone who wants me and i want them, just as love. haha.


i shld haf recovered. even tho i still feel sore and weak everywhere. i thnk i can walk now, smile now, enjoy the sun now. i must recover, i must become the object of envy, i must live up to my expectations and regain the power in my name.