well. ive been wanting to find my humanity back but. i guess i cant. i said i wanna leave, and im the only one who wanted to come back. why.
fking cy. wads wrong wif u. i rly dont uds ur course of actions. perhaps im jus prideful. perhaps theres some other reason but... nonetheless.. its gotta stop.
i cant do anything now. why. i dont know.it feels like im living but im not alive. i... wanna break out of this. if not my humanity is so gonna die off.
i am hopeful. i am strong. i must... endure. i will survive.
Part II
Had a good long talk wif Darek. I guess he reminded me of one thing. U were there when i was down and out. and I.. Pushed u away cuz I'm still in a state of fking mess. Now... I'm finally in a pretty much steady state but... Ure alr not there, no matter how I called for u. Why.
Well if u've alr attained happiness whereby I'm not in the equation, fine. I'll... Wish u all the best I guess. Since tt is all I cldve done. If not, if ure still wandering ard out there, come to me, and claim UR just rewards. I... Loved u,
Haha. Wad a pathetic state i was in. Wake the FK up cy.
Oh btw this post was like edited 3-4 times at diff time intervals and thus the seemingly split in personality heh. But well I guess, a side of me seems so needy and the logical side of me was fighting hard to u noe, telling myself to stop being such a pussy. Hai. Tt Debate going on within my mind lol.
Haiii.
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